Critical Condition
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: Olivia Benson felt hot tears gather in her eyes as she stared down at the floor in front of her. How could this have happened?
1. At The Beginning

A new story! Yay! Clearing the cobwebs out of my head with this. But unlike so many of my other stories, I actually think I know where I'm going with this. LOL. But don't hold me to it! I'm trying my hand at something different here, something I hope you guys will enjoy. I feel I should mention that this is AU, and Eli doesn't exist, but EK did reconcile. I originally sat down with every intention of writing a story where Elliot catches Kathy cheating on him (which I have never done, GASP!) But then I started listening to one of my favorite Taylor Swift songs, White Horse, and this idea presented itself. So here it is. Enjoy, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

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Olivia Benson felt hot tears gather in her eyes as she stared down at the floor in front of her. How could this have happened?

She was sitting on the edge of her bathtub at five in the morning because she had been feeling terrible for the past two weeks. Vomiting, achiness, general symptoms of the flu. But it wasn't the flu.

The positive pregnancy test that rested beside her was proof of that.

Leaning forward, she cradled her dark head in her hands for a while, not really sure of what to do next. She had a baby growing inside of her, and she didn't know whether to laugh or cry about the whole thing. On the one hand, she had always wanted a baby of her own. She had tried to adopt, but she had been turned down because they didn't consider her a desirable candidate. And her job made it hard to have a normal love life, so finding suitable husband or father material was out. But as frightening a thought as that was, she knew that her child would want for anything. Least of all love and affection from her mother.

But on the other hand, she was completely and utterly alone. No family, no husband to lean on for the support she would need in the following months. She would be bringing a child into this world, knowing the violence, pain and suffering that she saw every day in her job. How could she do that?

And what about work? Obviously she would start showing in a few months, and she knew that, realistically, she wouldn't be able to hide it. There were also risks that she had never thought about before now. Chasing after perps, interrogations that sometimes ended in bloodshed, and the sometimes overwhelmingly long hours with little to no sleep in sight.

She finally tossed the test into the garbage and turned the hot water on as her tears rolled down her cheeks. And what about the father? How could she tell him? She shed her sleepwear and stepped into the shower stall, letting the hot water spray against her olive colored skin.

She was alone. That was something that she would just have to get used to. She chuckled bitterly. She had been alone most of her life. This couldn't be that much of a transition.

Then she thought of her partner. Elliot. Even if she managed to keep her secret hidden for a while, he would figure it out sooner or later. She spent most of her time with him, and he had been through three pregnancies with his wife. He would know all of the signs.

She rested her head against the tile wall of the shower and let her eyes slide shut. Wife. Just a short while ago, all of her hopes and dreams had been within grasp. He had told her that Kathy was filing for divorce, and that they were over. If she had said something then… But before she had gotten the nerve to, they were back together. Just like that.

But she didn't really have the right to be jealous, right? After all, they had a lifetime of history together. Four beautiful children, a home, a history. Maybe it wasn't perfect all of the time, but he had gone back to her. Something in him still loved her enough to take her back, even after she had left him.

Olivia snorted. If she had a man like her partner, she wouldn't leave him. He was the epitome of everything she had ever wanted in a man. He kind, generous, devoted, loving… She knew that he wasn't perfect, no one was. But in her eyes, he was…everything.

The water suddenly ran cold, and she quickly turned it off and reached for a towel. But before she wrapped it around herself, she took a moment to look down at her abdomen. It was taut and flat, a product of her stringent exercise and well maintained diet. Her hand moved slowly over it, and she tried to imagine what she would like in just a few short months, when the small swell that was already there would be a very noticeable bump.

Finally she wrapped her towel tightly around herself and headed into her bedroom. In just seven months, she would be bringing a child into her home. A child who would be completely dependant on her. A child who lived, who breathed and would call her Mommy.

Her knees suddenly buckled, and she sat down heavily on the edge of her bed. How could she do this? Abortion was not an option in her mind. It never really had been. Ever since her mother had told her that she had been trapped with Olivia because she'd had no options, she promised herself that no matter what, she would keep her child. No abortion, no adoption. She had been granted the one thing her heart desired, even if it wasn't under the best circumstances.

She would not be like her mother. She just wouldn't. Her baby would be loved. As long as there was a breath in her body, her child would never know what it was like to be unwanted, or in the way.

After a while, she got up and got dressed, then left her apartment and headed to work.

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Elliot Stabler sat at his desk, his hands folded and his cerulean eyes filled with concern as he stared at his partner's unoccupied desk. Olivia was never late. Normally she was there even before him, or arrived within a few minutes of his own arrival. This wasn't like her.

A picture on his desk caught his eye, and he felt a surge of guilt as his wife's picture stared back at him. Absently he twisted his wedding band. It felt strange putting it back on after Kathy left him, but his Catholic guilt had played a big part in that entire mess. Catholic guilt had made him marry Kathy when she had announced that she was pregnant, and he hadn't even been sure that the baby was his. But when he saw Maureen for the first time, he realized that it didn't matter to him. From the moment he laid eyes on her, she had laid claim to his heart.

But now it was twenty years later, and Maureen was already finished with college. Kathleen was a sophomore in college, and the twins were juniors in high school. In just a year, none of them would really need him like they had before, and then what? It would just be him and Kathy, and the ghost of the love that he once thought they shared.

And what kind of life would that be?

Olivia appeared in front of him, interrupting his self berating thoughts. He managed a smile for her, a smile that came easier than he thought it would. She was always able to do that to him, even in the early days of their partnership.

She sat down in the chair, and he couldn't help but notice how pale she seemed, even with the extra makeup that she had carefully applied before coming to work. He leaned forward in his chair, his cerulean eyes filled with true concern. "Liv?"

A minute passed before she finally answered. "Hmm? Sorry, Elliot. Did you say something?"

"I just wanted to know if you were okay."

She shrugged as she sipped from the bottled water she had purchased on her way to work. "Yeah. Just trying to get over this flu." She was terrified that he would be able to see through her thin excuse in a heartbeat, but to her surprise, he nodded.

"Keep drinking your water. And if you need to cut out early, just go." He gave her a sweet smile. "I know you have plenty of sick days saved. It wouldn't kill you to use one of them."

She forced a small chuckle. "I guess it wouldn't."

Something more serious was obviously wrong with his partner, but he didn't want to push it. She had been tense and feeling badly for a couple of weeks, but he chalked it up to illness and a hard case they had been trying to crack. If it was anything more serious than that, he was certain that she would tell him. So he sat back in his chair and brought his coffee up to his lips.

Wouldn't she?

TBC...

A/N: I have no idea where the title came from, but it seems to work, so I'm going with it. I'm trying to kick my writer's block out with this story, so I hope it works! Thanks for reading, and please review!


	2. More Like Her

Hey, everyone! Wow, when the muse doesn't want to cooperate, it doesn't want to cooperate! LOL. But after seeing the preview for the season finale, and hearing that one of my favorite couples is FINALLY engaged (anyone who is a country fan has been watching them and their watches... LOL) I was inspired! Congratulations to Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert on their engagement (and he actually asked her daddy's permission! He is old school!) First there was Johnny and June, then Tim and Faith, and now the next generation of country music royalty, Blake and Miranda! Woo hoo! Everyone enjoy this chapter, and please review if you love Miranda and Blake! LOL.

Also, while writing this (which took five days. Gah) I was listening to the beautiful Reba song, I Keep On Loving You. Over and over. LOL. It's been a big thing through this story, so give it a listen!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

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Later in the week, Elliot trudged up the steps that lead to his home. It had been a rough day, with a pregnant rape victim nearly being murdered by her rapist to keep her quiet. He really doubted that she would ever open up now.

He pulled out his keys and studied them for a moment before placing one in the lock. Olivia was still acting strangely, and he was bewildered. No matter what he said, he couldn't get her to open up about whatever it was that was bothering her, and he didn't know how to handle that. She always been able to confide in him, no matter what her problem was. Was it something that he had said or done?

He unlocked the door and stepped into the dark house, his mind going through anything he could have said or done to upset her in the past few weeks. But his mind came up blank as he quietly closed the door and locked it again.

It was well after midnight, and after downing a couple of beers and checking on the twins, he pushed his bedroom door open and stepped inside. As was his habit, he shed his shirt and pants, tossing them onto the floor before he went to the bed.

Kathy seemed to be sleeping peacefully, and for a moment, he considered not disturbing her and retreating to the couch. He had been doing that more and more lately, it seemed.

"Elliot?"

Her voice startled him. "Yeah, babe." He slid into the bed with her, sighing softly when she turned into him and draped her leg over his.

She dropped kisses along his chest, ignoring the smell of beer on him, and her.

He hesitated before surrounding to the comfort that she willingly offered, and afterward, he finally slept.

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Cragen heaved a sigh as he opened his front door and flipped the light switch, flooding the living room with light. Even after almost twenty years of living alone, there were times when he simply hated coming home to a completely empty house. Not a wife, not even a goldfish to keep him company.

He hung up his jacket, a result of his late wife's persistent nagging that he put away his clothes. Then he kicked off his shoes and went into the kitchen. It was nights like these that he desperately wanted a drink. He poured a glass of water and took a long drink, then set the glass down.

As he went back into his living room, his mind drifted back to work, and his favored detective, Olivia. For the past week, she had been acting oddly. He couldn't quite figure it out, but he was certain that something was wrong with her. And he hated that he didn't know what it was.

Olivia was like a daughter to him, and if there really was something seriously wrong with her, he wanted to help her through it. What if she had developed a medical condition? Or worse… What if she had been assaulted?

He shook his head vehemently as he went into his bedroom. "No," he muttered to himself. If she had been assaulted, she would have told him, after getting herself some help. No, that couldn't be it.

He undressed and turned off the light, then slipped in between his sheets. As his eyes adjusted to the dark, he rolled onto his side and looked at the picture of himself and his late wife that rested on the nightstand by his bed. Not a day went by that he didn't think of her and miss her. The detectives he worked with had become a surrogate family of sorts, and he had come to love them as such.

He just prayed that nothing was seriously wrong with Olivia.

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As soon as Olivia came through the front door of her apartment, she felt overwhelmed by exhaustion. She was very accustomed to working anywhere from twelve to sixteen hours a day, and it annoyed her that, after only ten, she felt as though she could barely catch her breath.

Her hand absently went to her belly as she kicked off her shoes. All week she had been receiving strange looks from Elliot and Cragen, and there were times she swore they could read her mind. They sensed that something was different about her, and they treated her differently, which troubled her.

She set her keys and cell phone down on the kitchen counter, then ran her hand through her thick chestnut hair. She didn't know how much longer she able to keep her secret to herself. She was constantly tired, and several times during the day she had to make a run for the bathroom to keep from losing any amount of food she had consumed in front of her coworkers. She was doing a fairly good job of hiding it so far, but it had only been one week. She had at least three more months before she would really begin to show, and then there would be no hiding it.

After taking a long shower, she changed into her favorite pair of pajamas and crawled into her bed, burying herself under her old quilt. Then she turned on a lamp by her bed and picked up one of the many baby books she had bought the day after her positive pregnancy test. This child may not have been conceived in the way that she wanted, but she was going to keep it. So she was determined to learn everything that she could about the massive changes her body was starting to experience.

She opened the book to where she had left off, but before she could get through the first page, she was asleep.

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Kathy Stabler stared up at her bedroom ceiling, her arms folded across her abdomen and her lips turned in a frown. The clock beside her bed told her that it was after two in the morning, and for once, her husband was actually home. He was settled in beside her, snoring softly as he slept.

She hated nights like these. He had come home a couple of hours ago, but instead of coming up to bed with her, he had lost himself in a bottle. Then he had stumbled upstairs and joined her in their bed.

But even after making love, she still felt disconnected from him. It was a feeling that she had known for several years, but she still wasn't quite used to. Six months ago, she had made a decision to end their marriage, the only life that she had really known. It had seemed like the right choice. After all, they had only married because after one night of lapsed judgment, she had gotten pregnant with Maureen.

She couldn't deny that they had had a few good years after Maureen was born. But once the twins were born, they had drifted further apart. She had tried believing that they could get through it, and for a while, it seemed that they had. Then he had joined SVU, and everything changed. He talked to her less, and the anger that had always been there had grown. She never once believed that he would raise a hand to her or any of their children in anger, but there had been a few times when she feared for his safety. She had tried to convince him to join another squad, but he insisted that he'd found his calling in helping rape victims and protecting children that so desperately needed him.

His own children needed him, but it seemed that he was blind to that, and the fact that she needed him, too.

So one night she finally decided to tell him that it was over, and unlike the previous times, she was truly done. The look on his face devastated her, but she had been convinced that it was the best thing for everyone involved. She had to find someone who could make her happy, someone who was more than just a paycheck.

But after just a couple of weeks, Elliot had come to her, begging to come back home. He had sworn that he was ready to change. He could be a better husband, a better father and a better man if she would just give him one more chance.

So she had.

But now she was starting to regret their reconciliation. She loved him, she wouldn't deny that. They'd had four beautiful children together, and memories that she wouldn't trade for any amount of treasure. But she was beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, they should have stayed just that. Memories.

A rough and calloused hand came to rest on her abdomen, and she closed her eyes for a brief moment. She still loved him, she never denied that. But that love had changed, and she wasn't sure how much longer she could keep going like this.

He moved closer to her, dropping soft kisses along her skin as his large hand moved up toward her breasts.

Her eyes opened again, and as he settled on top of her and pushed into her, she couldn't help but wonder if they were both thinking the same thing.

TBC...

A/N: I have some very specific ideas for this story, but I'm trying to pace myself! LOL, like that'll work. And next week is the season finale week! *cries* Then a whole summer with no SVU, Bones, or CSI! So sad! Thanks for reading, and please review! Congratulations again to Blake and Miranda! They sure took long enough... LOL.


	3. Over And Over Again

I normally don't update so fast, but I actually finished this chapter in record time and I was very excited about it. It is a filler chapter, but it's a yummy filler chapter. The even greater stuff is coming fast, I promise! Enjoy, and please review!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

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Olivia gasped as she fell to her knees in front of her toilet and retched. She hated being sick, and ever since she had found out about this pregnancy, it seemed that was all she ever was. Sick. She gripped the porcelain toilet bowl and gagged again, clenching her eyes closed. It was like a hangover, but she hadn't had the fun of getting drunk the night before.

Finally her stomach settled enough for her to move, and she stood up, stumbling over to the sink. She looked like hell, and she had to be at work in an hour. Shaking her head, she turned the cold water on and splashed some on her face, hoping that would help. How did so many women get through this? The nausea was crippling, and she wasn't sure how much longer she could keep up her charade at work.

Grabbing a towel, she dried her face, then looked into the mirror and tried not to flinch. At least now she looked halfway passable for human. It would have to do. She finished getting ready and left her apartment.

At the precinct, Elliot was already sitting at his desk and waiting for his partner to arrive. She was still acting strange, so he had decided to do something special for her. On the way to work, he had picked up a danish and coffee for her and set it on her desk. It was a special treat that he knew she always appreciated, and he hoped it would get her to talk to him. Even though he would deny it to their coworkers, he missed her. Probably more than a married man should miss a woman who was not his wife.

He chuckled humorlessly as the word wife rolled around in his head. When he had begged Kathy to let him come home, he had done it with the thought that things would actually change. He could be a father, and a husband again. Whatever it was that had soured their relationship would be gone, and they could be happy.

How wrong he had been.

But before he could delve deeper into his self deprecating thoughts, Olivia finally trudged into the precinct. He sat up and watched her cross the floor to their desks. There was something very different about her. Something had changed in the past few weeks, and he couldn't quite put a finger on what it was. And that bothered him. Usually he could read Olivia like a book, just like she could him. It was a skill envied by other cops, and most people who knew them. As he watched her, a smile brightened up his features. Even if something was different, she would tell him when she was ready. So he relaxed.

Olivia could feel her partner's cerulean eyes locked on her, and she stifled an annoyed sigh. Normally she didn't mind when he watched her, and sometimes she even found it cute when he thought he was being subtle about it. But her hormones had her a little on edge, and she hoped that she could keep them under control until it was time to go home. She pulled out her chair and sat down at her desk, and that was when she noticed the danish and coffee waiting for her. Normally she loved danishes, but for some reason, her stomach churned.

Elliot watched her with a smile, but when she frowned and turned a little green, his concern for her overrode any other feelings he had. He leaned forward in his chair, watching her anxiously. "Liv? What's wrong?"

She shook her head, but the churning in her stomach only worsened. Hoping that it would help, she placed the coffee and danish on his desk. "Thanks, El, but… I already had breakfast," she offered lamely.

His frown deepened. "Liv, why are you lying to me?" he asked directly, his worry gnawing at his gut.

"I'm not, El," she insisted. "I'm just not hungry." Bile crept up in the back of her throat, and she almost gagged.

"Olivia…"

She suddenly shot up and hurried across the squadroom floor in the direction of the nearest bathroom.

Everyone in the room witnessed her exit, and it was all Elliot could do to not yell at them to mind their own business.

Cragen came out of his office in time to see Olivia take off, and his brow furrowed. He looked at Elliot, who shook his head. Something was really wrong with his detective, and it bothered him. He gave Elliot a pointed look, then went back into his office and hoped that Elliot would be able to reach his partner and get her to open up to him about whatever was wrong with her.

Elliot looked around, then sighed and trotted after his partner. She had gone in the direction of the women's bathroom, and he hesitated before pushing the door open. "Liv…?" He could hear her gagging in a stall a few feet away, and his brow furrowed in concern. "Olivia?"

Olivia was slumped over, clutching the toilet bowl as she heaved. But in between spasms, she heard her partner's concerned voice, and she wondered what he was doing in the women's bathroom. Finally she was able to take a breath, and she managed to call out, "I'm fine, Elliot. I'll be out in a minute." Then she gagged again and closed her eyes tightly against the wave of nausea.

Undeterred, Elliot reached her stall and pushed on the door. She hadn't locked it, and he felt a sense of relief. "Olivia, you're not okay." He managed to crouch down behind her in the small bathroom stall.

Sensing him behind her only made her more tense, and her hands gripped the toilet bowl even tighter. "I am," she insisted weakly, trembling.

He hesitated for a moment before reaching out and touching her back. "You're throwing up… Are you sick?"

She closed her eyes, nodding slowly.

He shook his head as his hand began moving slowly over her back. "Why did you come into work today?" he chastised gently. "You probably have the flu."

She wanted to scoff. If only she just had the flu… A week of bedrest, plenty of fluids, crackers, some time off work and she would be as good as new. If only… Then his gentle touch finally registered in her mind, and it was almost enough to make her forget about the circumstances that had led her here. Almost.

He continued to stroke her back. It was very rare when they touched, and he savored the few times that it happened. His hand kept moving.

Finally she felt her stomach settle, and she took a deep breath, her body finally relaxing.

He felt her muscles relax, but he didn't move his hand. "Can you move?" he murmured.

She hesitated for a moment, enjoying his hand stroking her back. "Yeah… I think I can move." She started to stand up.

He moved with her, keeping one large hand on her back to help steady her.

As soon as she was upright, her knees buckled, and she braced herself to hit the floor. But instead of falling, she found herself in her partner's arms.

He knew the moment when her legs gave out, and he grabbed her before she could fall and do even more damage to herself than she had already done. "Hey, hey, hey… Take it easy," he murmured, easing both of them to the floor. He knew that Cragen was expecting them back, but that didn't matter. What mattered was his partner, and she was shaking like a leaf in his arms.

She tensed when he pulled her against his chest, but she was too weak to resist. His embrace was warm and comforting, and she couldn't bring herself to move. So she snuggled deeper into his chest and softly sighed.

He leaned back against the wall, closing his eyes as he held his partner closer to his chest. He had a sneaking suspicion that she was lying to him, but at that moment, he was willing to let it go. Maybe she was just suffering from a bad hangover. His big hand gently smoothed her hair back.

When he stroked her hair, she let out a soft, contented noise and closed her eyes. No matter what was wrong in her life, Elliot was always there for her. Never judging, never doubting. He was the only person she had ever known who cared about her just because she was herself, and she could really let down her walls around him. He was her best friend, even if he did belong to another woman.

His fingers absently played with her thick hair, and for a while, they simply sat together and drew strength from each other.

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Kathy was sitting on the couch that night, watching the clock as she waited for her husband to come home. The twins had gone to bed hours ago, and the dinner that she had prepared for Elliot had long since grown cold.

She ran her hands over her smooth legs and sighed. She had hoped to make this night special, one step in many that she hoped would lead them to growing closer as a couple. But now she was beginning to wonder why she had even bothered.

Finally the front door opened, and Kathy sat up on the couch as Elliot walked inside. "Hey…"

He nodded tiredly, hanging up his jacket. "Hey." Between worrying about Olivia's health and the stress of their most recent case, he was drained.

Hopeful, Kathy moved purposefully, hoping to garner his attention and peak his interest.

He kicked his jacket off, then went straight into the kitchen and opened the fridge door. He wanted to sleep, but something told him that it would elude him tonight. So he grabbed a beer and pulled the top off, then took a long drink.

When he passed her and went straight into the kitchen for a beer, Kathy's heart sank. That meant that he'd had a long day, and he probably wasn't in the mood for anything. But she kept her hopes up and padded into the kitchen. He was standing in front of the counter, and she stood behind him, slipping her arms around his waist.

He tensed when she hugged him. He knew she was lonely, but he was not looking for anything but sleep. So he gently patted her hand, then pushed it away.

She frowned when he rejected her advances. Even just a short time ago, a touch like that could drive him wild. Now she had to practically parade around nude to even get a look from him. "Elliot…" she started, anger creeping into her voice.

He steeled himself for a fight, setting the beer down before he turned to face her.

She crossed her arms over her chest and looked up at him. "I-"

His phone suddenly went off in his pocket, interrupting her. "Kathy…"

Her shoulders suddenly slumped in defeat. "Answer it." She walked away from him, her misery growing when she heard the change in his voice. Olivia… Of course it was her. She started up the stairs, but stopped halfway and turned around. Elliot walked out of the kitchen and grabbed his jacket, then left the house.

And all she was left with was a ghost of what once was.

TBC...

A/N: Uh oh... KE on the rocks. I know, I don't normally write them. Maybe that's why I'm having such a hard time. LOL. But all terrible things must come to an end... LMAO. Keep the faith, everyone! Thanks for reading, and please review!


	4. On A Wing And A Prayer

With the impending season finale looming overhead, I was inspired to update this. Fair warning: This chapter ends in a CLIFFHANGER! MWHAHAHHAH! *ahem* And I know that everyone wants to know who the baby daddy is, but that's still a few chapters away... I know, I know. I'm awful. But I'm really enjoying writing a story like this. So enjoy, and please review!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

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Two months passed, and Olivia managed to keep her pregnancy secret from all who knew her, including Elliot. She was amazed, but grateful at the same time. She didn't know if she could handle the questions they were certain to have.

She rolled over in her bed and stared at the alarm clock. Five more minutes until she had to get out of bed and go through the motions of another day, when she knew that nothing was ever going to be normal again.

Her hand drifted down to her swollen abdomen. Her clothes were getting tighter, and she was considering going shopping for maternity clothes before someone noticed the bump that was becoming more obvious with each passing day. But as much as she wanted to keep it hidden, she knew that eventually someone would notice.

The alarm went off, and she sighed, hitting the clock before she sat up in her bed. Maybe she should just get it over with and just tell everyone. They would find out anyway when she had to go on maternity leave, even if she managed to keep it hidden until she actually did. She stood up carefully.

And then there was Elliot. For the past five weeks, he had been far more protective of her than usual, and every moment that she was with him she was worried he would realize that she was pregnant. On top of that, her doctor had recommended that within the next month she limit herself to desk duty. No more chasing down perps, no more car chases. And that meant that Elliot would need a new partner.

Her blood boiled as she went into her bathroom. A new partner for El. Cragen was not likely to let Elliot work alone, even if it probably was the better solution until Olivia was able to return to work. She would be forced to entrust Elliot's safety and life to a complete stranger.

She turned the water on, then waited until it was hot enough for her before climbing into the shower. She had been Elliot's partner for over twelve years. How could she just step back and watch as someone replaced her? She laughed bitterly as the hot water beat against her skin. Was this how Kathy felt when she and Elliot had become partners over a decade ago? Did she feel as though she had been replaced by another woman? Did she feel this afraid, so…incomplete?

When the water ran cold, she got out of the shower and grabbed her robe, wrapping it tightly around herself. Maybe she would get lucky and Elliot's new partner would be a man. Or she could get even luckier, and Cragen would let Elliot remain without a partner, temporarily.

She quickly got dressed, unable to help noticing that her pants had gotten even tighter. She absently touched her abdomen as she made her way into the kitchen. Something on the counter caught her eye, and she had to stop for a moment. The sonogram. Her finger ran lightly over her baby's features. In that moment, when the technician had pointed to the monitor and shown Olivia her baby, it had become reality for her. She was going to be a mother. This had never been the way she had expected to start her family, but it had happened, and she was determined to be a better mother than her own had ever been.

She opened the fridge and poured herself a glass of juice.

The knock on her front door caught her offguard, and she raised a dark eyebrow as she set down her glass and went to the door.

Elliot grinned at her when she opened the door. "Good morning, Liv."

His appearance surprised her. "El… What are you doing here?"

He walked into her apartment. "I'm your ride, remember?"

"Oh…right." She had completely forgotten about that.

He raised an eyebrow. "Getting old, Benson?"

"Shut up, Stabler." She walked past him, discreetly picking up the sonogram and tucking it into her pocket. "I'm almost ready."

He grabbed her glass of juice and took a drink.

Walking away from him, she ducked into her bedroom and fished the sonogram out of her pocket. She placed it on her dresser, studying it for a moment before she grabbed her holster and put it on. Then she grabbed her badge and went back into the living room. "Let's go."

Elliot set her glass down and extended an arm. "Ladies first."

She pushed his arm away and led him out of the apartment, locking the door behind themselves.

He followed her, his eyes straying over her form. Something was definitely different about her, and while he had his suspicions, it wasn't his place to confront her. When she was ready, she would talk to him about whatever was going on with her. They rode the elevator in silence, and when they got to his car, he opened the door for her. As she slid into the seat, he got a glimpse of her abdomen, and he could have sworn that she was a little heavier than normal. Maybe she had stopped her morning runs. That was a question he was not about to ask. So he got into the driver's seat and started the car.

Olivia glanced at him, noticing the furrow of his brow and hard set of his jaw. He was thinking, and her heart skipped a beat. Had he finally realized what she had been hiding for over two months?

He guided the car out of the parking lot, and once they were on the road, he gripped the steering wheel tighter. "Liv?" He loved the way her name rolled off of his tongue.

She tried not to look guilty. "Yeah?"

"Is there…anything you want to talk about?"

Her mouth opened and closed, and she took a deep breath. "No, not really. Why?"

"You've just been… Are you sure there's nothing going on? You know you can talk to me."

A hard knot formed in her gut at his gentle words. Of course she knew that. He was the only person she had ever been truly able to confide in about anything… Anything except this. "I know, El. But there's nothing going on." She felt incredibly guilty lying to him, but he would find out soon enough.

He swallowed a sigh and focused on the road, and both partners slipped into silence.

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The morning passed fairly quietly, and before Olivia knew it, it was time for lunch. Elliot had volunteered to make a food run, but she had quietly declined to go with him. For some reason, she was exhausted, and she struggled to hide it. Maybe a little nap in the crib after lunch would boost her energy levels.

Elliot approached their desks with several bags in his arms, and he frowned when Olivia didn't seem to notice his return. He took a moment to observe her without her knowing. She was pale, and dark circles were painfully obvious under her beautiful brown eyes. Was she not getting enough sleep? He worried about her, probably much more than a partner should, but he couldn't help it. She was his best friend, and if something happened to her because he wasn't paying close enough attention, he would never forgive himself.

He shook his head to try to clear away those dark thoughts as he placed her lunch in front of her. "Lunchtime."

She opened the bag and smiled. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." He sat down across from her and dug into his own lunch.

She knew that he had been watching her, but she didn't say anything about it. She was already drawing too much attention to herself. Maybe it was time to make Cragen, and everyone else, aware of her current condition. She took a few bites of her sandwich, then set it down.

His gut knotted when he watched Olivia take a few bites of her sandwich, then set it down. Normally by this time of day she was starving, and he had to smack her hand to keep her away from his own food.

Olivia took another bite, then looked at her partner. "Since we're just doing paperwork, I'm going to catch a quick nap in the crib." She stood up carefully, keeping her belly hidden.

He nodded. "That's a good idea." So he had been right. She hadn't been sleeping well. "I'll cover for you."

She gave him a grateful smile. "Thanks, El." Then she walked away from their desks and headed toward the bathroom before she went upstairs.

He watched her go, then wrapped up his sandwich and ducked into Cragen's office. "Captain?"

Cragen looked up. "What is it, Elliot?"

He hooked his thumb over his shoulder. "Liv isn't feeling well. I'm going to go check on her."

The older man nodded and waved a hand. "Go." Elliot wasn't the only one who had noticed the recent changes in Olivia. "Let me know if she needs anything."

"I will." He left the captain's office.

After leaving the restroom, she was feeling even lousier than before. Her hands were shaking and a thin sheen of sweat covered her face. Even the lousy beds that awaited her upstairs sounded welcoming. She started up the stairs, but with each step, her breathing became more shallow and her heart started to race. She finally made it to the landing, but as she gripped the handrail, her knees buckled.

Elliot saw Olivia at the top of the stairs, and he called her name. "Liv! Wait up." He jogged over to the stairs.

At Elliot's voice, she turned. But it was the wrong thing to do, and a silent cry passed her lips as she lost her balance and tumbled down the stairs.

Elliot's heart stopped as she fell. No…

"Olivia!"

TBC...

A/N: CLIFFHANGER! Uh oh! Originally, Olivia was supposed to be pushed down the stairs by a drunken Kathy. But I decided to do that in another story I'm working on. Here's hoping that we get plenty of EO in tomorrow night's season finale! Thanks for reading, and please review!


	5. The Maker Said Take Her

I tried to post this last night, but the doc manager freaked out. So here it is. Enjoy, and please review!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

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Cragen felt sick as he sat in the waiting room at Mercy General. Munch sat on his right, and Fin sat on his left, and both looked as anxious and nervous as he felt. Something had to be terribly wrong with Olivia to make her pass out like that. Was she sick? If she was, how bad was it? He swallowed a soft groan and closed his eyes.

A few feet away, Elliot paced the floor of the small room, oblivious to everything around him. He had been the first one to reach Olivia's side, and he had held her in his arms as they waited for what seemed like an eternity for a bus to arrive. They were all worried sick about her, but Elliot felt like exploding. The paramedics hadn't even let him ride with her, which just pissed him off. Olivia needed him, and he couldn't be there for her.

Munch removed his sunglasses, folding them before he tucked them into his breast pocket. He hadn't seen Olivia's collapse, but he had heard the pure terror in Elliot's voice when he yelled her name. By the time he and Fin had gotten to them, Elliot was on the floor with Olivia cradled in his arms. The look on Elliot's face as he tried in vain to rouse Olivia had been heartbreaking, and everyone who gathered around them felt that pain in their own hearts.

Fin leaned forward and rested his head in his hands. Every time he closed his eyes, he was haunted by the memory of her sweet smile. He adored Olivia like the sister he had never had, and he loved her just as much. Whatever was wrong with her, he prayed, it was only minor and could be easily resolved. He scrubbed his hands roughly over his face.

"What is taking so long?" Elliot grumbled, glaring up at the clock on the wall. They had been waiting for over three hours for word of her condition, and he was getting more agitated by the minute. The other men sensed his agitation, but they knew that there was only one person who could really reach him, and she wasn't there right then.

"A doctor will be here soon," Cragen replied, trying to reassure himself.

And sure enough, several minutes later, the door opened and Dr. Williams stepped into the room. "Olivia Benson?" he called, looking around the room.

The four men got to their feet and surrounded him. "We're here for Olivia," Cragen told him.

Williams nodded. "Well, she was very lucky. Her disorientation and weakness was brought on by an iron deficiency and lack of sleep."

Cragen looked at his three remaining detectives. "Will she be okay, Doc?"

"Miss Benson and the baby are going to be fine. She's resting comfortably right now, but we're going to keep her overnight, just as a precaution."

All four men looked dumbfounded, and Cragen finally asked, "B-Baby…? Olivia is…pregnant?" He couldn't wrap his mind around that fact.

The doctor frowned. "Yes, she is. She's about four months along."

All the pieces suddenly fell into place in Elliot's mind. The vomiting, the exhaustion, her unexplainable disappearances. He cursed himself for being so wrapped up in himself that he hadn't noticed his partner, his best friend, was carrying a baby. He stepped forward. "Can I see her, Doctor?"

Williams hesitated, looking over his file. "Okay. Come with me."

"Tell her we'll visit as soon as we can," Cragen instructed his detective.

"And give her a hug for me," Fin added, crossing his arms over his chest. He wanted to see Olivia, but he was a smart man. He knew that the first person Olivia would be looking for was Elliot. And he still needed time to process the fact that his baby girl was pregnant.

Elliot nodded before following the doctor out of the suffocating waiting room.

Williams led Elliot upstairs and down a long hall. When they reached Olivia's door, he looked at Elliot. "She's resting right now. Are you her husband?"

Elliot hesitated. "No, I'm not. I'm her partner. Olivia is single, and she doesn't have any family." Except for the baby she was carrying… "But I am her medical proxy, and her emergency contact." That was one fact that he was very proud of. She trusted him to make medical decisions for her, and he was the first person to be contacted if anything happened to her.

He nodded, pushing the door open. "She should be waking up soon. I'm not going to release her until tomorrow, but when she goes home, she should have someone there for the first day or so."

"I'll do it," Elliot said immediately. He didn't give any thought to Kathy, who might be pissed at him, or anyone else. Olivia needed him, and she had no one else that she could count on. And he didn't trust anyone who wasn't him to keep an eye on her. "I'll stay with her."

Williams smiled. "Great. If she needs anything or if anything is wrong, just let a nurse know."

Elliot nodded, walking into his partner's room. Williams didn't follow him, and when the door closed, he felt himself startle a little. "Calm down," he muttered to himself. "It's just Liv." Just Liv… That was classic. He moved closer to the bed, focusing on the bump that was suddenly painfully obvious. His heart clenched. How had he not noticed that his partner, the woman he spent almost every hour of every day of every week with, was pregnant? Some friend…

There was a chair by her bed, and he dropped down into it. What had made Olivia so afraid that she had felt she had to hide her pregnancy from the people she worked with and her closest friends? Why had she hidden it from him…? That was the thought that bothered him the most. Had she thought he was so unapproachable? Had he done something to upset her?

His piercing eyes drifted to the opposite side of the bed and settled on the fetal monitor. Nurses and doctors weren't rushing into the room, so everything had to be okay. Then his gaze came to the bump where the baby rested. Without thinking, he reached out and rested a large hand on her belly. There was a baby in there…

He leaned forward and studied Olivia's sleeping face. "Why didn't you tell me, Liv?" he whispered. "Did you think I'd be disappointed?" He knew how much she wanted a baby of her own, and how badly it had hurt her when she had been turned down as an adoption candidate. If anything, he was glad for her. And there was no doubt in his mind that he would be there for her every step of the way.

She was his best friend, and everything else to him. His large hand moved slowly over her abdomen, and a thought crossed his mind. Who was the father of her baby? She hadn't mentioned any men lately, or even a single date. He tried to think of any possible candidates, but he came up empty. Would she even feel comfortable enough to tell him? Did the father even know that she was pregnant? Would he step up to his responsibilities, or would he leave Olivia alone to raise the child she was carrying? His blood boiled at the thought.

His hand gently rubbed her abdomen, and he leaned forward in his chair. "Hello in there," he whispered. "I don't know if your father is going to be a man and be there for you and your mom. But no matter what, I'll always be there for you, for whatever you need."

Olivia stirred under his gentle touch, groaning softly.

Elliot withdrew his hand and inhaled deeply, waiting patiently for her to awaken.

Her hand went to her abdomen, and as she willed the fog of sleep away, she wondered what had happened. The last thing she remembered was going upstairs to take a nap in the crib. She forced her eyes open and saw a white ceiling. What the hell…? Where was she?

When he saw her eyes, he smiled softly. "Hey, sleepyhead…"

She turned her head to the side. "El…?"

He leaned forward in the chair and rested his hand lightly on her arm. "I'm right here, Liv."

She blinked slowly. "What happened…?"

"You collapsed, Olivia. The doctor said that you had an iron deficiency."

She suddenly tensed and struggled to sit up. "Oh, God…" Her hand rubbed her abdomen.

He stood up and rested his hands gently on her shoulders. "Shh, Liv… The baby is fine." He pointed to the fetal monitor. "See? Just calm down."

She stared at the fetal monitor for a moment. Then her gaze swung to meet his. He knew about the baby…

As if he could read her thoughts, he nodded. "Yeah, Olivia. I know about the baby."

Her eyes watered, and she stared down at the swell of her abdomen underneath the thin hospital blanket.

The look on her face broke his heart, and without a moment's hesitation, he sat on the edge of her bed. Then he wrapped his arms around her and drew her into his arms.

She tensed when he pulled her into a hug, but after a moment she relaxed against him and buried her face in his neck.

He closed his eyes and pulled her tighter against his chest. "Shh, Liv…" His large hand smoothed over her hair.

Her arms finally slipped around him. "I'm sorry, Elliot," she whispered.

His brow furrowed. "What? Why are you sorry, Olivia?" he wondered, rubbing soothing circles over her back.

"I should have told you. But… I just didn't know how."

He closed his eyes. "Olivia, I'm not mad at you," he murmured reassuringly. "I promise."

She shuddered and held onto him tightly. How could he be so understanding, so ready to offer his forgiveness when she had hidden the biggest secret of her life from him? Her hands gripped the back of his shirt tightly. Suddenly she couldn't even remember why she had refused to tell him that she was pregnant. He never would have been angry with her. Why hadn't she seen that before?

He shifted closer to her and ran a big hand gently through her hair. "Everything is going to be okay," he said, injecting as much confidence as he possibly could into that sentence. "It is."

"How do you know?" she whispered, unwilling to leave the warmth and comfort of his embrace.

"I just do." He laid a hand gently over her abdomen. "You're going to have a baby, Olivia. You've wanted a baby for years." He kissed her temple affectionately. "It doesn't matter how he got here, or who the father is. You're going to be a mom, and you're going to be an amazing one, too." And that was the truest thing he could say.

She breathed deeply, concentrating on the pattern his hand was making on her back. Normally such obvious displays of affection were forbidden between them, but right now she didn't have the strength to fight it. And honestly, she didn't want to. His embrace was warm and comforting, and she felt herself being pulled back into the embrace of sleep.

He felt her relax against him, and he knew that she needed to sleep. He started to guide her body away from his to the pillows behind her. She would be more comfortable there.

As soon as he started to pull away, she tightened her grip on him. "El…" Her cheeks flushed.

He looked down at her. "What's wrong, Olivia?"

"Can you…stay with me?" Darkness was encroaching on her mind, and she was afraid and unwilling to be separated from her partner. Right then, it didn't matter that he wasn't hers to want. He had pulled her into his embrace. He had initiated the contact. And now she didn't want it to end.

A small smile played across his face. "Yeah, Liv. I can stay with you. But let's get you more comfortable, okay?" He moved further onto the bed and stretched out beside her. Then he pulled her against his chest and rested his head against hers. "Don't fight it. You need the rest."

She yawned and buried her face in the pillow. "I want a girl," she whispered before sleep claimed her.

A girl… He ran his hand over her arm as he thought about that. A little girl, with big brown eyes, Olivia's smile, and her fighting spirit. His hand moved from her arm to her swollen stomach.

"I love you already, little girl."

TBC...

A/N: Aww, the EO fluff! Thanks for reading, and please review!


	6. Nothing You Won't Do

Finally, an update! LOL. I lost direction for a bit on this, then I found it again, along with my inspiration! LOL. I know everyone wants to know who the baby daddy is, but it's going to be a secret for a little while longer. Hahaha. This chapter is a bit of a filler chapter, but it's an angsty filler chapter. So enjoy, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

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When Elliot didn't come home after work, Kathy wasn't that worried. But when day turned to night and she still didn't hear from him, she grew upset and angry. Years ago, at the beginning of their marriage, if he ran late, he always found a few minutes to call her and let her know what was going on. And when he finally got home, he always had beautiful flowers and an honest apology.

Then he started skipping the call once in a while, and before she realized it, he was coming home late all the time and not even explaining why. She supposed it was because he just assumed she would know that work had caused his tardiness. So he just quit trying to even excuse himself.

She poured herself a glass of wine and sat down on the couch with a heavy sigh. On the coffee table in front of her was their wedding album. And beside it was the set of divorce papers, lacking only one signature from her to make it complete. Years ago, when she had separated from him for the first time, he had signed the papers. But after the reconciliation, something had prevented her from destroying the papers. Maybe that should have been a sign for her, the reluctance to shred those papers and start over fresh.

She took a long drink of the wine, then set the glass down and picked up the papers. At the bottom of each page, she looked at Elliot's signature. At one time, he had been ready to let go. He may not have been willing, but he respected her enough to give her what she needed: a fresh start. And that was what she had thought she wanted. Then the reconciliations came, and she felt that she owed it to their family to give him another chance, even though that wasn't what she really wanted. It was an obligation.

She picked up the glass of wine again and took a long drink, emptying the glass. She was starting to get a buzz, but it wasn't the same. Her stomach flipped and turned as she set the empty glass down. Then she stretched out along the couch and closed her eyes.

Elliot didn't come home that night.

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The next morning, as Elliot stirred from sleep, the first thing he was aware of was the warm body cuddled in his arms. For a moment he simply laid there, enjoying the warmth and comfort. But a sudden movement interrupted the moment, and he stared at Olivia's abdomen in joyous disbelief as it all came back to him. She was having a baby...

Olivia stirred and tried to find a more comfortable position as the baby kicked and flipped in her abdomen.

Elliot drew her closer and gently rubbed her abdomen. "Settle down in there," he whispered. "Let Mommy sleep."

Olivia yawned quietly and rolled onto her back.

When he saw her eyes, he smiled warmly. "How are you feeling, Liv?"

She opened one eye and glanced at him. "Okay," she replied softly.

His hand settled over her abdomen.

She closed her eyes again, enjoying his gentle touch. "Who else knows?" she finally asked.

"Munch, Fin and the captain know. They were with me when...when the doctor came to talk to me about you."

"El... I'm sorry you had to find out this way."

He propped his head up, studying her olive toned features. "You didn't have to hide this from me." He gently rubbed her belly. "I love kids, and you're my best friend. I want to be involved in your lives."

She closed her eyes against the tears that gathered. Of course he would be so understanding. He had his own family, his own life, but he wanted to be there for her and her unborn child. Her hand came up and gently covered her eyes.

Shaking his head, he softly shushed her and pulled her back against his chest. "Shh... Don't cry, Olivia. Everything is going to be okay." He smoothed his hand over her thick hair. "Don't cry."

She let out a choked sob and turned toward him, burying her face in his chest. He knew what he was talking about. He wouldn't lie to her.

He wasn't put off by her tears. He had gone through three pregnancies with Kathy, and by the time the twins had arrived, he had become sort of an expert on dealing with hormonal pregnant women. But this wasn't just any hormonal pregnant woman. This was Olivia, his partner and his best friend. And he hated to see her cry when he knew that there was nothing he could really do to help except hold her and promise her that everything would somehow be okay.

She continued to cling to him and weep until she had no more tears to cry. Then she simply laid there in his arms, emotionally exhausted.

He gently brushed her hair back and watched as she drifted back to sleep. Once he was certain that she wouldn't awaken, he slipped away from her and stood up. Then he went into the hall and pulled out his cell phone. While Olivia had been asleep, her doctor had come in to talk with Elliot. Now he was facing a large problem. So he called Cragen and asked him to come sit with Olivia. Then he left the hospital and drove back to his house in Queens.

Kathy stood in the kitchen, cleaning up the dishes from breakfast. Elliot still hadn't called, and even though she was angry with him, she was worried. Whenever the phone rang, she jumped and wondered if it was Cragen calling to tell her Elliot was injured or dead. She closed her eyes for a moment, then resumed scrubbing at a plate.

Elliot hesitated before walking through the front door of the home he had shared with Kathy for the past fifteen years. He used to see this place as a haven, a safe retreat from the horrors he saw every day in the job he loved. Now it was becoming more of a dwelling that he came to for sleep and something to eat before he left again.

Kathy heard the door open, and her hands paused in the hot water. The kids were at school. That meant that Elliot had to be home.

He could see Kathy in the kitchen, and he took a moment to gather his thoughts before he joined her. "Hey, Kath."

She stared down into the soapy dishwater. "Case?" she wondered, not completely sure if she even wanted to know the answer.

_Damn_... He knew that tone. She was pissed because he had forgotten to call. That wasn't a good start. "Uh, not exactly."

Her body went rigid. "Then why didn't you come home?" _Or even give me the courtesy of a damn phone call_?

He leaned back against the counter. "I'm sorry about that. Olivia had an accident."

Olivia. Of course it had something to do with her. How had she not seen that coming? "Is she okay?"

He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "She collapsed yesterday afternoon. Her doctor said she has an iron deficiency, and that made her pass out."

She raised a light eyebrow. Iron deficiency? "And?"

"She's pregnant."

Kathy almost dropped the soapy plate she had been scrubbing. "Pregnant?"

He opened the refrigerator door. "Yeah. She's pregnant." He started to reach for a beer, then decided against it when he remembered he would be going back to the hospital after this talk. So he opted for a bottle of water. "Four months along." He shut the refrigerator door.

Kathy took a ragged breath, then set the plate in the strainer before she turned around to face Elliot. The fact that he was holding a bottle of water didn't escape her attention. Normally when he came home, he went for something with alcohol in it.

He took a long drink of the water, then swiped at his mouth.

Kathy dropped her gaze to the floor. "Who's the father?"

Elliot had taken another drink of water, and he almost choked on it when she asked that question. "What?" he gasped, struggling to catch his breath. That question had caught him completely offguard.

She crossed her arms over her chest. "Olivia. Who is the father of her baby?" It was a simple enough question.

He had to consciously keep himself from snapping at her. "I don't know. She didn't tell me."

"Of course she didn't," Kathy muttered, turning back to the dishes.

"She didn't, Kathy. And I didn't ask." He knew what she was silently accusing him of, and he wasn't going to stoop to her level.

She seethed silently as she resumed washing the dishes. As perfect as Olivia was, it was probably immaculate conception. She scrubbed at a glass.

Elliot rubbed his temple, forcing himself to calm down. He knew what he had to tell her, and he knew that she wasn't going to like it. But he had to say it. "She's being released today or tomorrow."

"And?" Kathy muttered.

"Her doctor said she can't be alone." He turned the bottled water over in his hand as he contemplated how to say the next part without risking life and limb.

Kathy gripped the sink tightly and waited for what she knew was coming. Poor Olivia, all alone in the world. No family, no one to take care of her except her married partner whose marriage was going to hell.

He squeezed the empty plastic bottle. "I'm going to stay with her for a few days." Olivia didn't even know it yet. But there was no one else that he trusted to take care of her like she would need for the next few days, or however long her doctor deemed it necessary for her and the baby.

He knew better than to ask if Olivia could stay with them. It was his home, too, but Kathy would probably change the locks on him before she allowed that to happen.

"Of course you are," Kathy said bitterly. "The poor woman has no one else who can help her, so you're going to run to the rescue."

"Kathy," he warned.

She spun around and shook her head. "Don't even, Elliot. Just go." She stormed past him.

He shot out a hand and gently grasped her elbow. "Don't do this, Kathy. She's my partner."

She pushed his hand away. "And I'm your wife. But when has that ever mattered to you?" She looked as though she wanted to say something else, but she didn't. Instead she stormed out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

He stayed in the kitchen for a little while, contemplating his next move. He didn't want to upset Kathy, but he could not abandon Olivia when she needed him the most. Kathy was his wife, but he was all that Olivia had.

He finally moved away from the counter and went upstairs, into his bedroom. Kathy was sitting on the bed, and he silently grabbed a duffel bag from the closet. Then he began packing some clean clothes that he knew he would need for the upcoming days at Olivia's apartment.

Kathy sat on her side of the bed, watching him.

He finished packing the bag, then closed it and looked at Kathy. "Don't be angry," he requested, his voice soft.

She stared at him. How could he possibly think that she wouldn't be upset when he was going to stay with the woman she held responsible for so many of their marital problems?

He slung the bag over his shoulder, then leaned down to give her a soft kiss that was meant to reassure.

She turned away from him at the last moment, and his kiss fell on her cheek.

When she turned away, he sighed heavily. "I'll call you later, Kath." He walked away from the bed.

She watched him go, and when she heard the front door open and close a few minutes later, a silent tear rolled down her cheek.

TBC...

A/N: Liv's pregnant, Elliot's marriage is falling apart... Who else is loving this? LOL. And before you go, imagine a nice image of Cragen scolding a rogue detective with a sleepy EO baby strapped to his chest. LOL. Just a nice thought to make everyone smile. Thanks for reading, and please review!


	7. Pieces Of My Heart

An update! Yay! A very fuzzy update. Not much else to say. LOL. Enjoy, and please review!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

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When Olivia opened her eyes again, she saw Cragen sitting by her side, and she felt guilty. What was he doing there? Certainly he needed to be at work more than he needed to be there with her.

Cragen saw Olivia's eyes flutter open, and he leaned forward and rested his hand over hers. "How do you feel, Liv?" he whispered.

She shrugged. "Okay, I guess." She carefully shifted her hips and glanced around the sterile hospital room. Elliot was gone, and she felt her heart break a little. But she had no right to be upset. He wasn't her husband. He was her partner, and her friend. He had a family, a wife and children who needed him at home. He had better things to do than sit around and watch her sleep.

Cragen saw the hopelessness creep into his detective's eyes, and he frowned. "Liv, Elliot had to leave for a little while. But he's going to be back," he promised, squeezing her hand gently.

She felt relieved, then angry at herself for being relieved. "He doesn't have to..."

Cragen shook his head. "I don't believe that for a second, Olivia. You want him here, and he wants to be here."

She studied his face. "Captain..."

The door opened, and Elliot came into the room. When he saw Olivia's eyes, he dropped his bag and quickly went to her side. "Liv..." He smoothed a large hand over her hair.

She relaxed and enjoyed his gentle touch.

Cragen noticed the exchange, but he pretended not to. His hand squeezed hers before he released it. "I have to get back to the squadroom, Liv." He gave Elliot a meaningful look, then kissed Olivia's head. "Call me if you need anything at all."

She nodded, and he left the room.

Once the door closed, Elliot sat down beside her bed and took her hand. "I just talked to your doctor."

She raised a dark brow. "What did he say?"

"He said that you can go home tomorrow. But you need someone to stay with you."

Her face dropped. "But..." She started to run through her mind the list of possibilities who could stay with her. "There's not anyone who can..."

He reached up and gently brushed her hair back, the gesture tender. "Yes, you do."

Understanding filled her eyes, and she shook her head. "El, you can't... You have a family who needs you."

He leaned closer to her. "I already told Kathy. I'm going to stay with you until things settle down." His hand came to rest gently on her swollen belly.

She stared at him in disbelief and amazement. "Elliot..."

"No arguments," he said firmly.

She looked away from him for a moment, then started to say something. But she thought better of it. He was just being a god friend. Nothing more. She was making way too much out of this.

He sighed quietly, absently stroking her hand with his thumb. There was so much that he wanted to say, that she needed to hear. But now was the worst possible time.

So they both sat in silence, letting their hearts feel what their lips couldn't say.

The next day, after being released, Olivia led Elliot to her apartment door. She had argued with him several times over him staying with her, but in the end, he had won. She took her key out and unlocked the door, then pushed it open. "You know your way around." She went to the couch and sat down heavily, kicking her shoes off.

Elliot set his duffel bag down and pulled off his jacket, hanging it up. "I do." He looked at his watch. Almost one o'clock. She needed something to eat. He went into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator door. "Liv..."

She sighed. "I know. I haven't had time to go shopping."

"You need to be careful about that." He went back to the door and pulled his jacket back on. "Take a nap. I'll be back in a little while." He reached into her purse and grabbed her prescriptions. "Call me if you need anything."

She turned the TV on. "I'll be fine, Elliot."

He opened the door, then turned and studied her for a moment. Even exhausted and just out of the hospital, she was stunning. He frowned at that thought. He had no right thinking of her in that way...

Olivia felt his gaze on her, and she looked up at him. "What?"

He shook his head. "Nothing." He quickly left the apartment, locking the door behind himself.

After he was gone, Olivia reached up and grabbed the afghan that rested on the back of her couch. She unfolded it carefully, then pulled it over herself and closed her eyes. She was more tired than she realized, and soon she was sleeping peacefully.

Elliot came back to her apartment a few hours later, angry with himself for taking so long to get the groceries. She was probably starving. He carried the grocery bags upstairs, and when he got to her door, he set the bags down and reached for her key to open the door. "Liv, I'm back," he said as he pushed the door open.

Olivia was still sleeping, and he was as quiet as he could possibly be as he carried the groceries into the kitchen and put them away. Then he went to the door and locked it. He was happy that she seemed to be resting peacefully. He took his jacket off, then went to the couch and knelt down beside her. She looked like an angel as she slept, and he resisted the urge to run his fingers over her cheek.

She stirred and sighed in her sleep, and he got up and went into the kitchen before she woke up. In an effort to help with her iron levels, he had bought plenty of iron enriched foods, including several steaks that he planned to make for dinner. So he went to the sink and washed the few dishes that were dirty. Then he got to work on dinner for the two of them.

He was almost done cooking and getting ready to wake Olivia up from her nap when he heard the sound. It was a soft, strange noise, and at first, he wasn't sure if he had heard anything at all. Then he heard it again, this time stronger. He walked quickly out of the kitchen and into the living room. "Olivia?"

She was tossing restlessly on the couch, and as he came closer, she cried out in her sleep.

He dropped down to his knee in front of her, his brow furrowed in worry as he debated whether or not to wake her up. But when she whimpered again, he reached out. "Liv..." His voice was soft and concerned as he called her name.

Her head jerked to the side.

He placed his hand gently against her cheek. "Come on, Olivia. It's okay. Just open your eyes." He gently turned her head toward himself. "I'm right here."

Her eyes flew open, and for a moment, she was confused and afraid. Then she saw Elliot's face, and before she realized what she was doing her arms flew around him. Then she buried her face in his neck as she cried.

He tensed for a moment, then slipped his arms around her and held her close. "It's okay, Liv," he soothed, running his hand gently over her hair. "It was just a nightmare. Everything is okay now."

She trembled and clung to him, shaking.

He rested his head lightly against hers, murmuring soothing words into her hair. He didn't know what had been the source of her nightmare, but he was determined to make it better for her. "I've got you, Liv." He rocked her gently. "Everything is okay now. Nothing can hurt you."

He would die before he let anything happen to her, or the baby she was carrying.

After a few minutes, she finally settled down in his arms. His embrace was warm and comforting, and she felt most of her fear and tension slip away as he rubbed her back.

He held her tighter, and when her shaking finally subsided, he looked down at her. "Liv...?" He placed a gentle finger under her chin and tipped her head back. "Are you okay?"

She nodded, running her tongue over his lips. They had never shared such an intimate embrace for so long, and she had to remind herself that he was married. He was not interested in her.

"Liv?" His thumb gently stroked her cheek as he waited for a response.

"I'm fine..." Chocolate eyes searched cerulean ones, and for a moment, everything ceased to exist.

He swallowed hard as he leaned closer to her.

She closed her eyes for a moment and listened to him breathe.

There was no distance between them, and suddenly the oven timer went off, startling the both of them. Shaking his head, Elliot hesitated before he released Olivia. "Dinner's done," he murmured, getting to his feet.

She shivered when his arms were gone, but she tried not to let her disappointment show. What the hell was wrong with her? Her hormones were going out of control. That had to be it. She carefully stood up. "What did you make?"

He cleared his throat as he went into the kitchen. "Steak and mashed potatoes." What was wrong with him? Things were sour in his marriage, but he was still married, damn it! And if his wife had been any indication, Olivia's hormones were going out of control. He would not take advantage of that. He just wouldn't.

She sat down at the table, one hand absently resting on her swollen belly. If this was any indication of what this week would be like, it was going to be a long week.

TBC...

A/N: I know, short filler chapter. But the good stuff is coming, I promise! And soon everyone will know who the baby daddy is... MWAHAHHAHAH! Thanks for reading, and please review!


	8. Feels Like Tonight

*gasp* An update! I know, I know. But RL got in the way, and my birthday was a big blast! Then I finally got a good idea tonight, and I spent the last few hours writing this chapter! YAY! I kept arguing with myself over how to end this chapter, but then I thought the thought that every author should abide, "Write the story that you would want to read." So here's hoping! LOL. Oh, and this is the longest chapter for this story. Over 2,500 words! YAY! Enjoy, and please review!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

SVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVU

"Liv, I'm back," Elliot called as he let himself into the apartment. For six days, he had basically moved into Olivia's apartment. The first couple of days, she had been weak and needed a lot of help. But looking at her now, he would have never known it.

Olivia looked up from her place on the couch. "Hey, El." She was sitting comfortably and studying the screen of her laptop. For nearly a week, Elliot had been camped out on her couch. At first, she had tried to convince him that she didn't need all of this help. But her words fell on deaf ears. From what she had seen, he was fascinated by her pregnancy, and too many times to count she had been jealous. Had he been this affectionate, this curious when Kathy was pregnant?

He set the bags he was carrying on the kitchen counter, then pulled his jacket off and went to the couch. "What are you looking at?" he asked as he sat down beside her.

Olivia glanced at him, then pointed to the screen. "I'm looking for a new place."

He raised a dark eyebrow. "A new place?"

She nodded. "Yeah. This place really isn't big enough to raise a child."

He looked around the living room. It wasn't the biggest place, but for just Olivia and her baby... His heart clenched again. Her baby. He hadn't asked because he didn't want to upset her, but he wanted to know who the father of her child was. Was he going to be involved? He almost laughed. She was four months pregnant, and she hadn't so much as mentioned a casual date. That made him less inclined to believe that, whoever the father was, he would be involved. Son of a bitch... Didn't he know what he was missing?

She closed the laptop and set it aside, then turned toward her partner. He seemed to be deep in thought, and she wondered what he was contemplating. Her hand went to her stomach. She had a pretty good idea. He didn't think that she noticed it, but she caught him studying her belly quite often. Something told her that he wanted to know who had fathered her child. She didn't know how, she just knew. Ever since the beginning of their partnership, they had shared a psychic link of sorts. And by the end of that first year, they only had to look at each other to know what the other was thinking. It was a good thing, most of the time. But sometimes it made her want to shoot him, or vica versa.

He finally snapped out of his thoughts and looked at her. "A new place might be nice. Near good schools."

Schools... She hadn't even begun to think of that. Daycare, schools, parks... Her child deserved everything that she could give him. The father... Well, there probably wouldn't be one in the picture. So it was going to be up to her to raise this baby, to be the parent she had always wished her own mother would be but never was.

He smiled at her, then got to his feet again. "I'm going to get dinner started." But his smile faded as he said that. He had only spoken to Kathy once or twice since he had been at Olivia's, and it was only to see how the kids were doing. Then Kathy would make up some flimsy excuse and practically hang up on him.

But the thing that hurt the worst, what caused him to suffer most, was that she didn't say I love you. He walked into the kitchen and started dinner. There used to be a time that they would never leave the house without saying those three little words. In his line of work, they both knew that any time he left the house, she might never see him again.

It was a sad reminder of their crumbling marriage. She was slipping through his fingers, and he felt powerless to stop it. But... maybe he wasn't supposed to stop it. Maybe the reconciliation had been the wrong thing to do. Maybe they were trying to prolong something that was too far gone to bring back.

Olivia stretched out on the couch, resting her hands on her swollen belly. In the next day or two, Elliot would be going back home, since her doctor had said she would only need someone for a week. She didn't really want him to go, but it wasn't her place to ask him to stay. He wasn't her husband, or even her boyfriend. He was her partner, her best friend. But that was it. When he left, she would have to reacclimate herself to being alone in her empty apartment.

Her hand gently rubbed her growing abdomen. Well, not entirely alone...

Once Elliot was finished cooking, they ate dinner in a content silence. Then he took their dishes into the kitchen while she got changed into her pajamas. When he came back into the living room, she was sitting comfortably on the couch, and he smiled at her as he sat down.

She yawned, annoyed that her energy levels seemed to be lacking lately. "Do you want to watch a movie?"

He chuckled softly. "Just what I was thinking, Liv." Sliding off of the couch, he went to her DVD cabinet and searched through it. He smiled as he finally settled on one and put it in the DVD player. Then he went back to the couch and made himself comfortable.

As the movie started, Olivia smiled softly. "The Princess Bride, El?"

He laughed. "Maureen and Kathleen made me watch it. It's not bad."

"It's one of my favorite movies." She shivered.

He noticed her shiver, and he reached behind them, grabbing the afghan she kept there. He unfolded it carefully, then wrapped it around her. "There..."

She smiled at his protectiveness. "Thanks, El."

"You're welcome." He settled in again, and they both tried to focus on the movie.

An hour and a half later, Elliot turned off the TV, then looked at his partner. Somewhere during the movie, she had fallen asleep, and he couldn't resist reaching out to brush her hair back.

In her sleep, Olivia leaned into the gentle, familiar touch and sighed.

For a minute, he tried to decide what to do. He wasn't going to leave a moment sooner than he had to, and for the last five nights, the couch had been his bed. He could take her bed and leave her on the couch, but he immediately discarded that idea. He could move her to her bed, where she'd be more comfortable, but he was reluctant to wake her.

Finally he came to a decision. He kicked his shoes off, then, against his better judgment, drew his sleeping partner against his chest and closed his eyes. She fit so perfectly in his embrace, like she was meant to be there all along.

_Stop_, he thought angrily. He couldn't go there. He had a wife that, for better or worse, he was obligated to. And unlike so many men he knew, the vows he had taken actually meant something to him.

He ran his hand over Olivia's hair and sighed. If only...

The next morning, Elliot was thankful that he woke up first. He carefully slipped out from under her, making her comfortable before he stepped away. He was going home this afternoon, and he wanted to make sure that she would be okay. It didn't matter to him that she had been taking care of herself for most of her life. She was his partner, and it was his job to look after her. So after checking the kitchen and bathroom, he made a short list and left the apartment.

He came back a few hours later, his arms loaded with bags. Olivia was still asleep on the couch, and he tried to be as quiet as possible as he placed the bags on the kitchen counter. Once everything was put away, he went back to the couch.

Olivia was still sleeping peacefully, and he was loathed to wake her. But he wanted to say goodbye and make sure that she would be okay before he left. So he reached out and ran his thumb along her cheek. "Olivia..."

At the sound of her name, she reluctantly stirred. "El...?"

He nodded patiently. "You have plenty of groceries, and other things you need." His hand strayed to rest on her swollen abdomen.

She wiped the sleep from her eyes and slowly sat up, coming face to face with him. "You didn't have to do that..."

He held a hand up, shaking his head. "I don't care. I wanted to." He had to leave, and it was a way to reassure himself that she was going to be fine.

Finally she smiled softly. "Thank you." There was so much more that she wanted to say, but she kept the words safely tucked away. He had his own life that he needed to get back to, and she had no right to stop him.

He gently patted her abdomen. "You're welcome, Liv." He didn't want to go, but that really wasn't in his hands. So he got to his feet. "And if you need anything at all..."

"I'll call."

He gave her a tender smile, but she read the sadness in the cerulean depths of his eyes. Neither of them wanted him to go, but he had to.

Finally he leaned down and drew her into a gentle hug. Then he left her apartment.

The door closed, and Olivia buried herself deeper into the couch. He had been gone all of five seconds, and already she felt like a limb had been amputated. How pathetic was that? Turning over, she buried her face in the couch cushion and let her tears fall.

Elliot closed the door behind him, but for several minutes, he was unable to move from that spot. What if something happened to her? What if she fell again? The last time it had happened in the squadroom, with plenty of people and a way to the hospital. But in her own home, she could easily fall anywhere and not be able to reach the phone, or even call out for help.

"Stop it," he muttered to himself. "She's going to be fine." He took a deep breath, then finally went downstairs and to his car. She was going to be fine.

He started the car, but remained in that spot for a while before he finally drove out of the parking lot. Olivia had gotten by long before he ever entered her life. Even if she was pregnant, she was very capable of taking care of herself. He knew that.

He drove back to his home in Queens, his mind laden with heavy thoughts. It was as though he had left a part of his heart back at Olivia's apartment. He knew that he had no right to feel that way, but he couldn't help it. Kathy was his wife, but they both knew that Olivia had a part of him that Kathy would never be able to touch. He knew that it angered his wife, and in some ways, it angered him too. But it was the truth. He and Olivia saw the same horrors every day, felt that same pain every time I child was hurt or a soul cried out for justice that might not ever be found.

Their lives were meshed, and he wasn't sure that they could ever be untangled. Not in the way that Kathy hoped for, anyway.

He finally reached his house, and he hesitated for a moment before turning off the engine and getting out of the car.

Kathy was standing in her living room, feeling a little shy but determined. Kathleen was at the mall, and the twins were at a friend's house. She and Elliot would have the house all to themselves, at least until that night.

She lit the final candle, then looked around. All the lights were off, and the blinds had been drawn, casting the room in a soft glow. Absently she ran her hand over the silky fabric of her black teddy. She had bought it two days ago, when she had first come up with this plan.

She was going to seduce her husband and remind him what had drawn him to her in the first place. She would make him forget all about his partner. Their relationship was withering, dying, and tonight was her last shot at reviving it. It was going to work.

Elliot opened the front door and stepped inside, and for a moment, he was confused. "Kathy?"

Turning around, Kathy gave him her most sultry look. "Hi, honey..." She sauntered over to him, her eyes burning.

Elliot cleared his throat, confused. "Wh-What's going on?"

"What do you think?" She reached out and grasped his shirt, pulling him close.

Automatically his arms went around her. "Where are the kids...?"

"Gone. We have the house to ourselves." She reached between them and ran her hands under his shirt, over his chest.

He trembled, and when she took his hand and led him to their bedroom, he didn't fight it.

Kathy smiled when he followed her. It was going to work.

She was going to get her husband back.

TBC...

A/N: I know, I know, bad El! I could have given him right to Olivia, but where on Earth is the fun in that? LOL. Thanks for reading, and I hope the next chapter won't be so stubborn about being written! LOL. Please review!


	9. My Worst Fear

I know, I know. I'm terrible about updating. It wasn't until I started listening to the song My Worst Fear, by Rascal Flatts, that I was FINALLY inspired. I've always loved this song, and it's a good one for EK. So I made this chapter a songfic of sorts. I didn't plan on it, but it just seemed to work so I went with it. Now there is a cliffhanger, so be warned. Enjoy, and please review!

Disclaimer: Not mine.

SVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVU

A week after Olivia's return to work, Elliot lay awake in his bed, his thoughts refusing to let him give in to sleep. Everyone was worried about Olivia coming back to work, and they made no attempt to hide their concerns. Cragen had tried to convince her to stay on desk duty, but that hadn't settled well with Olivia. She didn't want Elliot going out in the field without her watching his back, and a small part of him couldn't blame her. He would be the same way, if Olivia went into the field with someone who was not himself to watch her.

Kathy stirred beside him and rolled away, sighing in her sleep.

Elliot turned his head and looked at her, and another surge of guilt went through him. The past week had been strange for him. In a way, it was wonderful to be home. The twins were out a lot, enjoying the freedom that came with being seventeen. So he and Kathy were home alone a lot, when he wasn't at work. They were spending more time together, but something felt... different.

There was satisfaction in her touch, and a comforting familiarity in her kiss. But that was all. He looked up at the ceiling, then rolled onto his side and closed his eyes.

A little while later, the bed squeaked as Kathy rolled toward him and rested her hand on his side.

He didn't open his eyes as she ran her hand up and down his side. He just breathed deeply.

Kathy sighed quietly, pressing a light kiss to his shoulder.

"I know things have been rough lately, Elliot, but I do love you."

He almost sighed. He loved her, too, but he was starting to wonder if it was enough. He loved her because she gave him four healthy, beautiful children whom he adored and would happily give his life for. He had shared his entire adult life with this woman.

But was that enough?

Kathy pressed herself closer to Elliot. "You've made me so happy, ever since we were kids and I first saw you playing football."

He remembered that day, too. One of his teammates had pointed out the cheerleader with baby blue eyes and long blond hair watching them. She was beautiful, and he had had no reservations with asking her out.

"We have beautiful children, and they make me so proud." She ran her hand over his abdomen. "They have the best parts of you in them."

He felt tears gather in his eyes, because she was right, and because he was beginning to realize that this was the end. They could continue to pretend that the life they led was a happy one, and that their marriage was a good one. They could keep up appearances for their family and friends.

They could do all of those things, if only for their children. But when Elizabeth and Dickie graduated high school and left home... then what?

_Last night you gave me a kiss_

_You didn't know it, but I was awake when you did_

_You were quiet, you were gonna let me sleep_

_So I just laid there pretending to be_

_You said some things you didn't know I could hear_

_And the words "I love you" never sounded so sincere _

He couldn't do this anymore. It wasn't fair to the kids, and it wasn't fair to Kathy. He still loved her, but she deserved to be happy. They both did.

Maybe it was time to move on. She could find someone to love her, the way she deserved to be loved.

Like he used to be able to.

"You're a good man, Elliot. Don't forget that."

Kathy kissed his neck, hugging him close for a minute. Then she finally rolled away from him.

Elliot stayed awake long after he heard her breathing even out and deepen. But sleep was elusive for a long time that night.

_It's gonna make it hard to tell you that I'm leaving_

_Now that I know just how much you care_

_You finally gave me one good reason not to go_

_But staying here is my worst fear_

The next morning, Elliot rolled over in his bed and gripped his pillow tightly. For a few moments, he simply lay there as he remembered all of the kind things Kathy had whispered to him in the depths of the night.

There had been so much love and honesty in her words, but he knew that it wasn't enough. Not to keep them together in this empty shell of a life for the rest of their lives.

His arm reached across the cold, empty expanse of bed. Kathy must have already gotten up. He slowly sat up, then got out of the bed and dressed. It was going to be hard, to look her in the face and tell her that it just wasn't going to work anymore. But in his heart, he felt that she knew it, too. Maybe it would be a relief, not having to pretend anymore.

Once he was dressed, he slipped out of the bedroom and down the hall. "Kathy?"

He walked down the stairs, expecting to see her on the couch or in the kitchen. "Kath? We need to talk."

There was no reply, and he frowned. "Where are you, Kathy?" He looked around, then went back up the stairs. Something wasn't right.

He finally went back into their bedroom and looked around, in case he had just missed her. But she was nowhere to be found. Then he saw the closet door was opened, and his heart skipped a beat.

Her clothes, which had been there last night, were gone. And so was her duffle bag and suitcase that normally resided in the corner of the closet.

His stomach sank, and he closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath.

Then he reopened his eyes. The closet was still empty.

Kathy was gone.

_This morning I rolled out of bed_

_Recalling all the sweet things you said_

_This was the day I was gonna hurt you bad_

_Called out your name, but you didn't answer back_

_I searched the house to find out what was wrong_

_Like a ton of bricks, it hit me you were gone_

He was surprised by the wave of emotions that hit him. He had been planning to do this, to end their marriage and the life that he had once been so happy leading. But it seemed that she had beaten him to it.

He went into the bathroom, and on the mirror, he was surprised to see a small yellow note stuck to the glass. An explanation, maybe?

After a moment's hesitation, he extended a shaking hand and gently peeled the note off of the glass. It was Kathy's hand writing.

I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me.

He felt a surge of conflicting emotions at her words. Why couldn't she have just said something to him, if she was planning on leaving? Why did she have to steal away in the middle of the night?

He gripped the wall tightly with his free hand. Were all those sweet words she had spoken last night a lie?

Or had they been her goodbye?

_It's gonna make it hard to tell you that I'm leaving_

_Now that I know just how much you care_

_You finally gave me one good reason not to go_

_But staying here is my worst fear_

The kids... He shoved the note into his pocket and hurried out of the bathroom, through the bedroom door and into the hall. First he pushed open Dickie's door. His games and clothes were gone, along with his backpack and school work.

His knees buckled as he eased across the hall and opened Elizabeth's door. Her clothes were also gone, along with her laptop and her favorite pictures.

He took a step backward, back into the hall. It was one thing for Kathy to leave, but to take his children and not allow them to tell him goodbye was just cruel.

She must have taken them to her sister's, like she did the first time she had left him. He was alone.

_All along I knew that there was something missing_

_And only one thing left to do_

_I had to leave behind this life that we'd been living_

_But the only thing that left was you_

He stumbled back into his bedroom and grabbed a bag, filling it with his clothes. He wasn't certain where he was going, but he couldn't be alone in that house. Not with all the memories and happiness that haunted him.

He would find a hotel, or maybe sleep in the cribs for a few nights, until he figured out what he was going to do. But he couldn't stay there. As far as he was concerned, Kathy could take the house.

It would never be the same to him again.

He finished packing his bag, then grabbed his keys and phone before he left the house.

As he got to his car, his cell phone began to vibrate in his front pocket. He didn't really want to talk to anyone, but it could have been a case, or one of his children. So he set his bag down, then pulled out the phone and studied the screen, scanning for the incoming number.

Kathy.

A lump formed in his throat, and he swallowed hard. There was no way that he could talk to her right then. Maybe later on, when he was more settled, he would call and work out visitation for the twins. But that was it.

She had left him in the most heartless fashion possible, and even though he had been planning to leave her, his heart still ached. Did twenty years not even merit a face-to-face goodbye? Did he not mean that much to her anymore?

Didn't he deserve to hear her say goodbye?

_It's gonna make it hard to tell you that I'm leaving_

_Now that I know just how much you care_

_You finally gave me one good reason not to go_

_But being alone is my worst fear_

He closed the phone and slipped it back into his pocket. Then he got into the car and sped out of the driveway. As he drove down the street, thunder growled ominously above him, and a raindrop hit his windshield.

He drove for a while, losing track of the time and not even certain where he was going. He had no tears to cry over their failed marriage, but he was still hurting over the way she had left. She couldn't even give him the courtesy of telling him she was leaving. She just... left.

Rain continued to fall, hard and heavy against the glass. He turned on the windshield wipers, but they did little to help.

Finally he decided to pull over and wait out the storm somewhere. But as he turned, the tires squealed, and he lost control of the car.

The car rolled across the median, flipping several times before finally landing upside down on the side of the road.

There was silence in the car, and the rain continued.

_And staying here is my worst fear_

TBC...

A/N: I know, EVIL. But I have a plan (of sorts). LOL. And cookies to anyone who gets the hidden reference about Kathy's goodbye. Thanks for reading, and please review!


	10. If I Were You

I am evil. Oh, and the reference in the last chapter was to Sex And the City. The Post-it Always Sticks Twice. Carrie's boyfriend leaves in the middle of the night, and when she wakes up, she finds the note with the words I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me. Ain't Berger a bastard? Enjoy!

Disclaimer: Not mine.

SVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVU

Munch was driving home after a night at his girlfriend's apartment. He smirked at himself in the review mirror. He was way too old to be called someone's boyfriend, but the woman he was seeing made him feel like a teenager again.

Rain started to fall in heavy sheets against his windshield, souring his good mood. "Damn it." Now he wished that he had just brought a change of clothing with him to his girlfriend's apartment. That way he could have showered there, instead of driving back to his place, only to drive all the way back to the precinct.

He would have to remember that next time. Or just keep a change of clothing in his backseat. That way he could have spent more time in bed with one amazing woman, instead of being on the slick roads that were proving treacherous.

Ahead of him, several cars were sitting on the shoulder of the road. His brow furrowed. Someone must have had an accident. He quickly pulled over and got out of the car. There were no other officers or signs of help. Just horrified onlookers.

He grabbed his shield and held it up, though the falling rain nearly concealed it. "NYPD!" he yelled over a clash of thunder. "What's going on?"

Someone pointed to the overturned Sedan that rested at the bottom of the embankment, and his heart sank. "Has anyone called 911?"

One person raised a hand. "I did, just a few minutes ago."

He strained to hear the faint wail of an ambulance, but he heard nothing. He pulled out his radio and called the accident in. Then he looked at the group. "Unless you're injured, please get in your cars and stay out of the way!" he barked, easing over to the edge of the embankment.

"Someone's still in that car!"

Munch nodded. "It's going to be okay. More help is coming," he promised as he began to edge his way down the slippery slope.

He managed to navigate his way to the overturned sedan, and once his footing was stable again, he leaned over and tried to look into the vehicle. "Hello! I'm a police officer. We're going to get you out of there."

There was no response, so Munch cautiously picked his way around the car and to the driver's side. The rain was falling hard, but he could make out a form hanging lifelessly from the driver's seat. "Hey, buddy, we're going to get you out of there, okay?"

The person didn't reply, and Munch feared the worst as he leaned in through the broken driver's side window. "Hey..."

A cold chill went down his spine. It couldn't be... He reached out and lightly touched the man's neck. "Elliot?"

His face was cut and covered in blood, but the victim was his friend and coworker, Elliot Stabler. Munch swore and withdrew, grabbing his radio off of his waistband. As he barked those dreaded words, officer down, he felt himself break out in a cold sweat. He put his radio down and grabbed his cell phone, making a succinct call to Cragen, apprising his boss of the situation. Then he hung up and leaned closer to the window again.

"Just hang in there, Elliot. We're going to get you out of here." He pressed his fingers against his friend's neck again. There was a pulse, but it was weak. There were copious amounts of blood everywhere, but Munch couldn't see the source. He continued to speak to his friend.

"Hang on, buddy. Help is coming."

Finally an ambulance pulled up on the side of the road, and Munch looked up. "Down here!" Then he looked at Elliot again. "The bus is here, Elliot. Hang on, and they'll get you out."

As the paramedics made their way down the embankment, Munch could hear the brakes of another car, and he prayed it wasn't another accident.

But what it was was worse.

A door slammed, and even over the pouring rain and chatter of the medics, he heard her voice. "That's my partner down there! Let me go!"

Olivia.

He didn't know how the hell she had gotten there so fast, but it didn't really matter. She was there, and like a mother lion rushing to protect her cubs, she came sliding down the embankment.

"Elliot!"

Munch got to his feet and grabbed her in his arms before she could see her injured partner. "Olivia, no!"

Those words only fueled her panic, and she struggled against Munch. "Let me go, John! I have to see him!"

Her eyes were filled with a terror that he had never seen, and he pulled her closer to himself. "Olivia, let the medics work. He's alive, and they'll get him out of there. But you have to stay out of the way."

She relaxed, and when Munch loosened his grip on her, she ripped herself away from him and went straight for her partner. "Elliot!"

Groaning softly, Elliot tossed his head to the side. He hurt everywhere, and he couldn't seem to get enough oxygen into his lungs.

"He's coming around!"

Vaguely he heard voices, but their words were jumbled. Another groaned passed through his lips.

Standing behind the medics, Olivia wrung her hands anxiously. "I'm here, Elliot!"

That voice... He managed to force one eye open. Olivia. Olivia was there, somewhere. She was with him. She would protect him.

The medic closest to Elliot saw his reaction, and he looked at the woman standing behind them. "Keep talking to him!" he encouraged.

Olivia nodded. "Elliot, stay awake for us. They're going to get you out of here. You'll be okay."

"He's lost a lot of blood," another medic pointed out. "We gotta get him out, now."

Munch eased up to Olivia and slipped his arm around her waist. The rain wasn't good for her or the baby, but he didn't dare say a word. It would be a useless waste of breath, anyway.

Olivia continued to talk to Elliot as he was carefully extracted from the overturned vehicle. Once he was finally free, the medics swarmed him and eased him onto the waiting gurney.

Without hesitating, Olivia pulled away from Munch and rushed to Elliot's side. "I'm here, El." She took his hand as a neck brace was carefully fitted to his neck.

"Let's get him to the bus, now!"

The climb up the slippery slope was tedious, and each time they faltered, Olivia felt sick. But finally the medics reached the awaiting bus and carefully loaded him into the back. Olivia and Munch were directly behind them.

Without asking, Olivia climbed in with one of the medics and sat at Elliot's head. She wouldn't get in their way, and she wasn't about to let them tell her she couldn't ride.

The doors slammed shut, and the engine roared to life.

Olivia watched fearfully as the medic placed an oxygen mask on Elliot's face, then began working to save her partner's life. She couldn't bring herself to watch, so she leaned over and rested a light hand on Elliot's head. "El..."

He heard her voice again, and he managed to force his eyes open through sheer will. She really was there.

Her thumb gently stroked his skin. "We're taking you to a hospital, El. You'll be okay." Her voice was soothing and filled with an unspoken tenderness.

With the small amount of strength he had, he raised his right hand and caught hers, giving it a weak squeeze.

Olivia nodded as tears of surprise and joy rolled down her cheeks. "I'm with you, Elliot. No one is going to take me away." She laced her fingers through his, careful not to cause any discomfort. "I promise."

He couldn't speak, but everything she needed to know was in his eyes. _I need you_.

She brought his hand to rest lightly against her racing heart. _I need you_.

His eyes slid closed, and his grip on her hand slackened.

Her heart was seized by fear. "El?" She gently patted his cheek. "Elliot, come on. Open your eyes for me. Don't go to sleep." Panic crept into her voice. "El, look at me!"

By the time they reached the hospital, he had flatlined twice, and Olivia's tears were falling like the torrential rains outside. They quickly unloaded him, rushing him into the ER. Olivia managed to keep her grip on his hand, but once they were inside, she was gently pushed aside.

Elliot was rushed from her sight, and her knees faltered. But before she collapsed, she felt strong arms envelop her and pull her close.

Cragen held his favored detective in his arms and quietly shushed her as she sobbed. He had arrived when the ambulance did, and he had no information about his fallen detective. And since he couldn't follow the gurney, he focused his energy on the one person he could actually help.

With gentle words, Cragen helped Olivia over to a row of chairs and urged her to sit down. Then he slid his arm around her again and let her cry into his shoulder. In all honesty, he wanted to cry as well. His detective, his friend, his adopted son, was possibly dying a few rooms away. And there was nothing that any of them could do for him. Olivia was probably taking that the worst. He would never tell them, but it was obvious to him how they felt about each other.

And since there was nothing else he could do, he simply held Olivia and prayed for Elliot.

Within a half hour, Munch, Fin, and Alex Cabot were in the waiting room with Cragen and Olivia. And after another hour, nearly every SVU detective was crammed into the room. Elliot was a good man, even if he did occasionally snap on suspects. He was a cop, their brother.

The hours passed, and some officers went to give blood, while others went to the children's ward in an attempt to brighten someone's day. But Olivia refused to move, and Cragen sat beside her. He refused to let her be alone through this.

Olivia ignored the soft words of everyone around her. She wasn't interested in any of it. All she wanted was to see Elliot again, injured, but alive. She wouldn't care if he had broken every bone in his body. If he was alive, he would heal.

There would be time...

Finally a weary doctor in blood-spattered scrubs appeared in the waiting room. His face was solemn. "Elliot Stabler?"

Olivia looked up, and her heart dropped.

No...

TBC...

A/N: Review. :)


	11. No Air

*comes out from under rock* Please don't kill me! I know I haven't updated in a while, but I have a good reason! I moved! Then I found my muse for this story again, and I have some fresh new ideas for it! I'll be moving again soon, so I am determined to get as many chapters of this out as I can before all of that happens! For those of you who are still reading, you are awesome! Enjoy, and please review!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

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The doctor looked the group over, then introduced himself. "I'm Dr. Shaye, and Mr. Stabler is in my care."

Olivia stepped forward. "Is he okay?"

"Before I get into that, can someone tell me just what kind of accident Mr. Stabler was in?"

Munch stepped up to Olivia's side. "From what we can tell, he lost control of his car. It flipped and rolled down a hill and landed upside down."

Shaye rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Then he's a very lucky man."

"Please, just tell us how he is," Olivia murmured, grasping Munch's arm.

"One of his ribs were broken, and it pierced his lung, which was why he stopped breathing in the ambulance. He has a concussion and multiple lacerations, but nothing more severe than the broken rib. We reinflated his lung, and he's breathing on his own." He smiled wearily at the overjoyed look on Olivia's face. "He'll need to stay here for a few days, a week at the most. Then he'll be able to go home."

A collective sigh of relief went up from the group, and Olivia leaned heavily on Munch. "When can we see him?"

Shaye looked at his file. "I can only let in one person at a time. Is there an Olivia Benson here?"

Olivia nodded immediately. "That's me."

Munch laid an affectionate kiss on the top of her head, then let her go. His own body was filled with relief. Elliot was going to be okay.

"He's out of Recovery and in his own room. Would you like to come with me and see him?"

Of course she wanted to see him! But she couldn't manage to say the words. She did step forward and nod anxiously.

Cragen came up behind her and rested a gentle hand on her shoulder. "We're going to go home, Liv. Call us if you need anything at all."

She nodded gratefully and followed Dr. Shaye out of the waiting room, leaving the other members of the squad to converse quietly.

As they went upstairs, Shaye looked at Olivia, his trained eye focusing on her swollen belly. "If I may ask, what is your relationship to my patient, Ms. Benson?"

"He's my best friend."

He sighed softly. "Please don't think me rude, but how far along are you?"

Olivia tensed. "What does that have to do with Elliot?"

"If you plan to stay with him longer than a few hours, sitting in one of the chairs won't be very comfortable for you. I can have a cot set up in the same room." He got the feeling that this woman was closer to his patient than she let on.

Olivia fell silent for a few minutes. "I'm almost five months pregnant," she finally replied, absently running her hand over her swollen abdomen.

Shaye nodded, and silence descended on them until they reached Elliot's room. "He probably won't wake up for a few hours. I'll have one of the nurses bring you some magazines."

"Thank you." She smiled gratefully at Shaye, then eased into her partner's hospital room.

The light was dim in the hospital room, and Olivia gave her eyes a moment to adjust before approaching Elliot's bed. Her heart clenched as she took in his pale, bruised appearance and the machinery surrounding him.

"El..."

There was a chair beside his bed, and she eased her pregnant body down into it. Then she reached out and encased his hand in hers.

Much to her disappointment, he didn't stir at her touch. After a few moments of silence, she freed a hand and laid it gently against his forehead.

"It's going to be okay, Elliot. You'll be okay."

Elliot didn't stir until the next afternoon. The pain began to pierce the pleasant nothingness that he had been drifting in, and vaguely he could feel a warm hand in his. A soft groan escaped his lips as his hand reflexively tightened around the smaller hand. After a moment, he managed to turn his head, and his eyelids slowly flickered open.

Next to his head, he heard an annoying beeping sound, and his foggy mind registered a cannula delivering oxygen into his lungs. He blinked slowly, and as his vision cleared, he noticed someone sitting by his bed.

It finally hit him whose hand he was holding. Olivia... He shifted his hips uncomfortably and watched her sleep. She was curled up in a stiff looking chair, with her head lolled to the side. His gaze fell on her swollen belly, and he felt a jab of guilt. How long had he been unconscious? How long had she been by his side, waiting for him to awaken?

After some contemplation, Elliot closed his eyes again, still keeping his hold on Olivia's hand. He wasn't sure why he was in a hospital, but Olivia was safe and with him. That was all that really mattered.

His chest rose slowly, and as he drifted away again, he was certain that he felt her hand squeeze his.

TBC...

A/N: Yes, I considered killing El, or putting him in a coma. But this worked so much better. And pretty soon, everyone will know the baby's paternity, including Olivia! Hehehe. Thanks for reading, and please review while I try to get all of this sorted out!


	12. Defenses

Oh, look! An update! LMAO. I'm pretty sure that the only thing left to do here is the epilogue. I haven't decided yet. But this story is NOT over yet! Enjoy, and please review!

Disclaimer: Not mine!

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When Olivia stirred again, she was disappointed to see that Elliot was still unconscious. Slowly she released his hand and sat up in the chair. Her entire body protested as she got to her feet and stretched. As she yawned and rubbed at her eyes, her free hand came down to rest over her swollen belly. A small smile tugged at her lips.

In the bed, Elliot stirred again and groaned softly.

In an instant, Olivia was back at his side. "Elliot?" Her hand slid into his. "Can you hear me, El?"

His eyelids flickered open. "Liv..." His voice was scratchy and rough.

"I'm right here." She pulled her hand away long enough to pour him a glass of water. "Here..." She pressed the straw against his lips. "Drink some water."

The cool water felt wonderful against his dry throat, and after he had his fill, he spoke again. "Wh-What happened?"

She carefully placed the empty glass on the table by his bed. "You were in an accident, Elliot. A bad one."

He chuckled dryly. "So... that's why I feel... like I got hit by a truck."

With a sigh, she managed to perch herself on the bed beside his waist. Normally there were boundaries that neither of them crossed, but this was an exception. "From what we can tell, your sedan flipped and slid down an embankment." Her eyes grew misty. "I thought I was going to lose you."

The look on his partner's face broke his heart. "Liv..." He struggled to a sitting position and reached out, gathering her against his chest. "Hey... It's okay. I'm going to be fine." His large hand gently patted her back. "I promise."

A tremor went through her body as she wrapped her arms around him. "Don't ever scare me like that again," she whispered tearfully.

He nuzzled her hair. "I'll try," he promised. Then he remembered why he had been on the road in the first place, and his grip tightened on his partner.

"El?"

"Kathy... Kathy left me," he finally whispered, shuddering.

Olivia sighed and shook her head, drawing Elliot closer to her. "I'm sorry, Elliot."

"Not your fault..." Though Kathy probably blamed Olivia for a lot of things wrong in the recent years of their marriage.

Her hand moved slowly over his back. "Shh..."

He started to crumble. A damn post it... he wasn't even worthy of a verbal goodbye. After twenty years, their entire adult lives, she had just left without a word. He buried his face in her neck, vulnerable and in pain.

Without hesitating, her hand came up and gently cradled his head. "I've got you, El," she murmured, resting her head against his.

The pain was too much for him to deal with, and after a few moments, his body went limp against Olivia's.

Olivia felt him relax against her, and she held him for several minutes before gently guiding his limp body back against the pillows. Even in his sleep, his brow was furrowed and his features were filled with pain.

Feeling helpless, Olivia finally reached out and ran her hand over his forehead. To her surprise, he relaxed at her gentle touch. Encouraged, she continued to run her thumb over his forehead and cheek.

A nurse came into the room and approached the bed.

Olivia swung her gaze to the nurse. "He was awake," she murmured.

"He was?" The nurse began checking Elliot's vitals. "How long was he conscious?"

"Just a couple of minutes. He was in pain."

The nurse nodded and injected medication into Elliot's IV line. "This will help his pain." After she was satisfied that her patient was fine, she turned her concerned gaze on Olivia. "How are you doing, Olivia?"

Surprised, Olivia looked up. "I'm fine." She looked at Elliot's sleeping form. "I'm just worried about him."

The nurse smiled warmly. She liked this woman's dedication to her patient. "He's going to be fine."

"I know. But I'm still worried about him."

Reaching out, the nurse gently patted Olivia's shoulder. "He won't wake up for a few hours. Why don't you go get something to eat?"

"But..."

"You're pregnant," she pointed out gently. "You should eat, so you can keep up your strength."

Olivia wanted to argue, but she knew the nurse was right. She had to put her baby first. Reluctantly she withdrew her hand from her partner's cheek. Then she stood up. "I'll be back in a few minutes," she told the nurse.

"He'll be fine," the nurse assured her.

Olivia looked at her partner one more time, then reluctantly left the room.

The nurse checked Elliot's vitals again, and she frowned when she noticed an increase in his heartrate. It was as though he knew she was gone, and he missed her. She smiled softly. "Don't worry, Mr. Stabler. She'll be back."

She left the room after a minute, and as she walked into the hall, she ran into another woman.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I'm looking for my husband's room."

The nurse nodded. "What is your husband's name?"

"Elliot Stabler."

A deep frowned marred Lilly's features. As far as any of the medical staff knew, Mr. Stabler didn't have a wife.

Kathy scowled at the nurse's expression. "Could you please tell me his room number."

"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but Mr. Stabler isn't allowed any visitors right now."

Kathy and Lilly stared each other down, until Kathy finally backed up and stalked away.

Relieved, Lilly made a note on her clipboard before she went back to making her rounds.

After getting something to eat, Olivia hurried back upstairs and to her partner's door. But before she could open the door, Elliot's nurse caught her.

"Ms. Benson?"

Olivia's brow crinkled in worry. "What happened? Is Elliot okay?"

Lilly nodded. "Elliot's fine. But a woman wanted to see him. She claimed that she was his wife."

Olivia's stomach flipped, and anger boiled in her veins. "Did you let her in to see him?"

"No. I told her he wasn't allowed any visitors." And judging by the look on Olivia's face, she had made the right choice.

"Good. She left him right before his accident. If you let her in to see him, it'll only upset him." Olivia shifted uncomfortably, filled with impotent rage and nowhere to direct it.

Lilly made another note on her clipboard. "You are his listed next-of-kin, so you have ultimate say over who is allowed into his room while he's unconscious."

Olivia nodded. "Then I don't want her in his room while he's recovering." She gave the nurse an appreciative look before slipping into Elliot's room.

Satisfied that she had made the right choice, Lilly tucked her clipboard under her arm and walked back down the hall.

Once again at Elliot's side, Olivia dropped into the chair and sighed. Kathy really had some nerve, trying to get in to see the man she had dumped. She had broken her best friend's heart, and Olivia didn't feel any remorse for telling the nurse to keep Kathy out.

Elliot stirred and sighed, drawing Olivia out of her thoughts. Reaching out, she laid a protective hand on his arm. "It's okay, El," she murmured, running her thumb gently over his skin.

"I won't let anything happen to you."

TBC...

A/N: I think that the next chapter will be the epilogue, unless I've missed anything. What do you guys think? Review and let me know! Thanks for reading!


	13. Epilogue

I admit, I was disappointed with the lack of EOness in those two episodes last night (and in the display of freaking Kathy) so I decided to update this story to counteract the lack of EOness. This is the final chapter of this story, but a sequel (titled Apologize) is well underway. Enjoy this final chapter, and please review!

Disclaimer: Not mine.

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Two months after Elliot's car accident, Olivia and Elliot were sitting in a quiet room, a fond silence between them. She was sitting on a table, dressed in comfortable pants and a flimsy top she had been provided with. Her hands were resting on her swollen belly, and she was looking around the room with mild interest.

Elliot sat back in the chair beside Olivia, his heart beating fast in his chest. It was just a routine checkup, but this was Olivia and her child. He wanted to know that everything was going right with both her and the baby she carried. Childbirth was always a dangerous time for both mother and child.

Olivia looked at her partner and grinned at the excited look on his face. After his accident, she had insisted that he stay with her, at her apartment, while he healed. His doctor had said he would only need to stay with someone for a few weeks, but after he was cleared, neither of them brought up his departure. So he had remained at Olivia's apartment, in her guest room. Neither of them were sure where it was going, but they were happy just to be in close proximity of each other.

Dr. Hannigan finally walked into the exam room, smiling warmly at Olivia. "Good morning, Olivia. How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good." Her hand moved soothingly over her abdomen. "This kid is pretty active."

"Fantastic." After a quick examination, Dr. Hannigan raised Olivia's shirt and spread cool gel over her abdomen.

Without thinking, Elliot reached over and took Olivia's hand.

Olivia smiled and squeezed his hand in return as Hannigan turned on the ultrasound machine, then rubbed the wand over Olivia's belly.

Immediately Elliot's eyes went to the screen, and his heart jumped as his eyes picked out the details of a baby. Olivia's baby... Without thinking, he brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed her knuckles.

Olivia was fascinated as she watched her baby on the screen.

Hannigan smiled warmly. She never tired of this job. "Everything looks good, Olivia." She smiled at her patient. "Would you like to know the baby's sex?"

Elliot nearly jumped out of his seat, but he managed to keep his enthusiastic response to himself.

Olivia was a little less certain. "I think..." She blew out a deep breath. "I think I'd like to be surprised."

Disappointed, Elliot looked at his partner. "Are you sure, Liv?"

"Yeah. I want to be surprised."

Hannigan nodded, printing out a sonogram before she turned off the machine. "You're both doing very well. Make your next appointment on the way out."

Elliot got up and helped Olivia sit up after Hannigan cleaned Olivia's abdomen off.

Olivia changed shirts, then let Elliot lead her out of the room. They stopped at the reception desk long enough to make Olivia's next appointment before leaving the doctor's office.

Once they were in Elliot's car and on the way home, Elliot glanced over at his partner. She was holding the sonogram in her hands and studying it intently. With a warm smile, he said, "It's amazing, huh?"

She nodded slowly. Since Elliot had been released from the hospital, his children made regular visits to her apartment to see their father. Elliot had been hesitant at first, but after Olivia's assurance that they were very welcome, he relaxed. She loved his children, because they were part of him, and she enjoyed having them around. But she worried about her lack of experience with babies.

Elliot sensed her sudden tension, and he laid a warm hand over her arm.

"You're going to be a great mom, Liv. Don't worry so much about it."

She looked at him, surprised. Then her lips settled into a soft smile, and the rest of the ride passed in silence.

They arrived at Olivia's apartment twenty minutes later. Elliot happily followed his partner upstairs, grinning to himself.

Olivia caught the smile, and as they stopped in front of her door, she looked at him. "What are you smiling about?"

"Nothing, Liv."

"Liar." She pulled the key out and unlocked the front door, then pushed the door open.

"Surprise!"

Startled, Olivia stared at the group of their colleagues and friends.

With a chuckle, Elliot leaned in and affectionately kissed Olivia's cheek. Most of the people they worked with witnessed the display of affection, but Elliot didn't care. This was his best friend.

Alex Cabot made her way through the group and pulled Olivia into a warm hug.

Olivia returned the hug. "What is this, Alex?"

"Your baby shower."

Olivia looked past Alex, laughing softly when she saw the uncomfortable expressions of Munch, Fin and Cragen. Including Elliot, they were the only men there. The rest were female friends of Olivia and coworkers from work.

Elliot placed a protective hand on Olivia's side. Alex had told him about the party weeks ago, and she had assured him that she had everything under control. All Elliot would have to do was get Olivia out of her apartment for a few hours. He nodded at their boss and Munch and Fin.

Amazed, Olivia looked around. There was food spread out on the kitchen counter, and presents piled up on a table on the other side of the room. "Wow..."

Alex gently grasped Olivia's elbow, guiding her to the couch. "Did you find out the baby's sex?" It had been a little trickier, organizing the party and picking out gifts without knowing the sex of the baby Olivia was carrying. But Alex had told everyone to buy neutral clothes and toys, and so far it had worked.

Olivia shook her head as she sat down on the couch and made herself comfortable. "I decided I want to be surprised."

Elliot followed her to the couch and sat down next to her. "I wish you had found out," he complained lightly, placing a calloused hand on her belly.

Munch and Fin approached the couch. "He's just worried about being wrong," Fin pointed out. "He thinks you're having a boy." A warm smile tugged at the corner of Fin's mouth. "I know you're having a girl."

"I don't know, Fin." Munch looked at his partner. "She's carrying low. That usually means a boy."

Fin snorted. "Old wives tale."

Alex squeezed between the two men and glared at them. "Go get something to eat, you two." She handed a plate of food to Olivia. "The guys aren't staying, so once they leave, we'll get started."

Elliot looked at Olivia, silently questioning.

Olivia nodded at him before looking at Alex again. "Elliot is going to stay."

Fin and Munch looked amused, but Cragen wasn't surprised. And after eating and some small talk, the guys excused themselves and left the apartment.

Three hours later, after the presents had been open, food had been eaten, games had been played and goodbyes were exchanged, Elliot and Olivia were alone. Tired, Olivia had stretched out on the couch with her feet propped up on the arm of the couch. Elliot was sitting on the floor beside her, sorting through the presents and folding the tiny onesies.

"It's been a long time since I've held anything that fit into one of these," Elliot murmured, his voice filled with awe.

Olivia sighed softly. "You'll remember."

"Like riding a bike." He gave Olivia a sweet smile. "You're tired."

"Am not," she argued, yawning.

"Right." He got to his feet and took Olivia's hand. "Come on. You're going to fall asleep, and that couch isn't good for your back."

She sighed, but let Elliot help her to her feet. As she stood, her knees buckled, and she started to fall.

"Whoa!" He caught her in his arms and held her tightly against his chest. "Are you okay, Liv?"

She nodded shakily. "I'm okay."

He held her for several moments, then helped her into her bedroom.

In her bedroom, Olivia sat down on her bed and kicked her shoes off. Then she laid back against the pillows and closed her eyes.

Elliot swallowed hard. She was absolutely beautiful. Without thinking, he leaned down and lightly touched his lips to her forehead.

Olivia sighed softly at the affectionate gesture. Suddenly she tipped her head back, and their lips met.

Surprised, Elliot made a soft sound, but he didn't pull away.

Encouraged by the sound, Olivia slid her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. She couldn't believe this was really happening. She had wanted to kiss him for so long, but there were lines and boundaries defined the moment she knew he was married. Now they were gone.

Moving his hand to the back of her neck, he gently cradled her head as he explored her mouth.

After a minute, they finally broke apart. "El..."

Worried that she was going to yell at him, or worse, decide that she wanted nothing more to do with him, he pulled back. "I'm sorry..."

Her hand shot out and grabbed his. "Please don't," she begged, squeezing his hand.

He studied her features, searching for a sign of anger or rejection. But all he saw was desire. She wanted him. Reaching out, he gently cupped her cheek in his hand.

She leaned into him, yawning wearily.

He watched her intently. "I should go. Let you sleep..."

"Don't." She let go of his hand and moved over, patting the space beside herself. "Stay with me. Please?"

"Liv..." He stared at the empty space beside Olivia longingly. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." She patted the bed again.

Finally he moved, easing himself down beside her.

Once he was comfortable, Olivia scooted close to him and rested her head on his chest. She didn't know where they were. This territory was completely new and unfamiliar. But she was willing to let it go where it would.

He slid a strong arm around her and kissed the top of her head. "Sleep, Olivia," he urged quietly, gently rubbing her abdomen.

"Mm..." Surrounded by his warmth and the safety of his arms, she gradually drifted into sleep.

Elliot stayed awake for a while longer, rubbing her abdomen as he thought. With that kiss, something had changed radically between them. Did she love him? He knew that he wanted to be in her baby's life, but if they were together as a couple, he would be a father to that baby. It didn't matter that the child wasn't his biologically. She was a part of Olivia, and by extension, a part of himself.

He pressed a soft kiss to Olivia's head and pulled her closer, closing his own eyes. He wasn't sure what was happening between them, but he was going to be there for Olivia, no matter what happened. She was his to protect, and if she would let him, his to love.

Love... He sighed contently as he snuggled closer to her and finally joined her in sleep.

The End.

A/N: Don't kill me for not revealing the identity of the baby daddy. As my muse would have it, the identity is going to remain a secret until the second story. I'm liking the way this is going, and if the muse allows, this just might turn into a saga. I've already completed the first three chapters of Apologize, and am well into the fourth. If I can keep this up, I'm hoping to finish it fairly soon. But who knows? And Mariska didn't win her PCA! *sobs* Lisa Edelstein won, and she did not deserve it! *ahem* Sorry for the rant. For being such good sports, here's a sneak peak of the upcoming sequel, Apologize. Thanks for reading, and please review!

A soft gasp escaped her as his words registered in her mind. For a moment, she couldn't speak, or even breathe.

He tipped his head back and met her eyes. "Alex..."

"Yes."

His eyes widened in surprised. "Really?"

She nodded, wiping at her eyes. "Yes. Really."

He let out a strangled laugh and pulled the ring out of the box. Then he took her left hand and slid the diamond ring onto her finger.

Alex studied the ring for a moment, then hugged her fiance tightly.


End file.
